


Longing Hearts

by vintagepluto



Category: Girl Meets World, rilaya - Fandom
Genre: F/F, Missy Bradford and Charlie Gardner make a small appearance, anyway enjoy a gay writing some gay shit, basically this is just me wanting to write about these two idiots in love, there’s also some scattered curse words so like I guess I should warn for that in here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-19 21:58:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 36,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17009970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vintagepluto/pseuds/vintagepluto
Summary: Riley, Maya, and the rest of their friend group are finishing their sophomore year of high school together. An overnight history field trip seems simple enough. But with the two girls sharing a hotel room and their recently discovered feelings, things are bound to get complicated. Will their friendship stay the same after that night or begin to develop into something entirely new?{start date: october 18th, 2017}{end date: december 16th 2018}





	1. blindsided

**Author's Note:**

> heads up: the end notes are all from when I was in the process of writing this and posting periodically on wattpad

Maya's POV

*Beep...beep..beep*

Stupid alarm clock. I groggily lean over to shut it off, squinting at the red numbers shining brightly in the surrounding darkness with a yawn. The digits indicate that it's far too early to be participating in life. I groan and pull the pillow over my face wondering why in the world I had set the alarm for 5:30 in the morning. Then it hits me. It's Thursday, that means we leave for our school field trip today.

Long story short Mr. Matthews had somehow convinced the school to let him take us on a different overnight field trip than the normal one. I don't know how but I'm not exactly complaining. We're nearing the end of sophomore year and he decided to take us to the American Museum of Natural History and then to Coney Island the next day. Although I wasn't thrilled we had to go to a museum at least we get to go to Coney Island the day after. Sadly, we're expected to turn in an assignment about the experience so that means I'll actually have to put effort into paying attention in the museum.

"Hey Maya you better be up and getting ready, we have to leave by six" my mom tells me while dropping a duffel bag in the open doorway. 

"Yeah yeah I'm up." 

I sigh and walk over to my closet. I glance at the bag, remembering packing it with Riley last night. Well technically it was really Riley packing since I was laying on her bed scrolling though tumblr while she freaked out about packing. 

"Maya! Now please!" I hear her call from downstairs. 

"Coming!" I yell back and search for an outfit. She's gotten used to how distracted I get in the mornings well enough to remind me twice.

I brush through the blonde mess that is my hair, brush my teeth, and grab my bags. Racing downstairs into the kitchen and almost running into Shawn I take a bite of a bagel from a plate on the counter.

"Sorry for almost spilling your coffee! I'll see you Friday" I shout over my shoulder before running outside and closing the door behind me. 

"You owe me a bagel when you get back!" I hear him yell back faintly.

I slide into the passenger seat of my mom's car and put on my headphones, cranking up the volume. I'm now considerably more awake and wondering why I'm actually excited about a school field trip. I rest my head against the window and settle on watching cars pass by on the New York streets until we arrive. 

"Alright Maya we're here" my mom says quite loudly knowing she wouldn't be heard over my music otherwise.

"Thanks mom, remember to pick me up at five on Friday" I say flashing her a quick smile and stepping out of the car. 

I busy myself with shoving my headphones in my drawstring and phone in the pocket of my sweatshirt.

"Maya, over here." 

I instantly recognize Farkle's voice and I turn to see him waving me in his direction. I wave back and walk over to where he had just gotten out of his dad's car. 

"Hey Farkle, nice bedhead" I point out with a small smirk. 

He readjusts his backpack strap and rolls his eyes playfully. 

"I had to rush out of the house in order to get here on time. I figured I could just cover it with a beanie but I couldn't find the one I was looking for."

"I get it. I was running a bit behind schedule too. It's too early for this." I reply as we start to walk up the front steps of the school. 

We spot Zay and Lucas walking ahead of us in the hallway and quiet down. I put a finger to my lips and he nods back. This mischievous side of Farkle is one I like to see. I creep my way closer to them as quietly as possible and turn to see Farkle doing the same. 

"Hey just because I haven't gotten that achievement yet doesn't mean I'm trash at the whole game!" Zay complains. 

"Yes it does because that's one of the easiest ones to get. I shouldn't be surprised, you do have a terrible sense of direction." Lucas points out. 

I notice Farkle trying to contain his laughter and tilt my head towards Lucas and Zay still arguing in front of us. Normally I'd be struggling to keep it together at their stupid argument as well but I'm determined not to ruin this. Farkle composes himself and I silently count down from three, mouthing the words. 

When I get to one I slap my hands down on Lucas's shoulders yelling "Good morning Huckleberry!" in his ear. 

I feel him flinch in surprise before muttering "It was going to be one before you did that."

I turn to my left and see Zay hadn't taken Farkle's attack as calmly as Lucas had taken mine. He had dropped everything he was holding and fallen down on the floor. Farkle was chuckling and shaking his head as he offers a hand to him. 

"Not cool man. Not cool" Zay says taking Farkle's hand and brushing himself off, trying to seem annoyed. 

However, I couldn't help but notice a slight smile on his face that he was failing miserably at hiding. I give Farkle a fist bump, victory shown clearly on my face.

"Pleasure doing business with you Ms. Hart" he says. I jokingly do a small curtesy causing him to laugh.

"Why am I friends with such children?" Lucas asks aloud with a shake of his head as we approach the classroom. 

"Peaches!" 

Riley runs over to the doorway and gives me a hug which I return enthusiastically despite my tired state. I can't ever refuse one of her hugs no matter how upset or exhausted I am. 

I relax into the hug and find myself wishing I could just freeze this moment in time. Her arms are around me in a warm embrace and I love how for a second nothing else seems to matter in the world except us. I breathe in the familiar scent of vanilla and cinnamon and instantly relax. The second she pulls away I'm aware of how much I miss her touch already. I sheepishly look down at my converse after that observation. Dammit quit overthinking Maya it's only a hug, its a basic interaction. 

Riley lifts my chin in the adorable way she always does and our eyes lock. She smiles softly and I'm instantly struck with a feeling of nervousness and butterflies in my stomach. As she takes her hand away my thoughts are reeling a million miles a minute trying to understand what just happened. Why am I nervous? I mean we always do that. The sound of Riley's voice jolts me back to the conversation. 

"I'm glad you managed to get here on time, it wouldn't be as interesting without you by my side" she says with a laugh. 

I grin before she goes over to grab her bags from the back of the room. I hear Farkle nearby jokingly mutter "get a room" under his breath and I shoot him a glare. Thank god Riley hadn't been close enough to hear. When scanning the room I can see that almost all our usual classmates are here chatting together alongside some other kids I don't recognize.

"Hey what's up with all the other people here?" Lucas asks. 

Riley comes back over holding her things for the trip. "Lucas did you forget that the other two history classes are coming too?" she asks. 

He shoves his hands in his pockets and avoids her gaze since he apparently did. 

"And that folks is why you pay attention to explanations in class" Zay says. 

"Hey! I zoned out during the class when we were going over the details" Lucas protests. Riley just shrugs before getting distracted by greeting Smackle who'd just walked in.

"I'd bet you five bucks he was busy thinking about Riley" Zay whispers to Farkle and wiggles his eyebrows. 

"Could you two shut up" Lucas whispers harshly and flicks Zay in the back of the head. 

Something about that whole exchange disgusts me and I bite my tongue in order to avoid saying something I'd regret. Mr. Matthews then frantically enters the room holding a clipboard. 

"Alright alright everyone quiet down. We have to take attendance and then you can get on the bus and talk." 

He looks at a list in his hand and starts reading off roll call. I don't bother to listen to any of them since I'm still trying to pinpoint what I felt with Riley a minute ago and why I felt it. Maybe I'm just too sleep deprived and my brain is acting weird or I'm coming down with something. Then I realize something makes everything in me freeze and my heartbeat start to get faster. Absolutely no way. Butterflies don't necessarily mean that. I can't have feelings for her she's my best friend that's impossible. But suddenly everything starts making sense. Those typically insignificant moments that I value a little too much, how often I catch myself staring for a bit too long, the amount of times I've gotten lost in her eyes. The fact that I've never truly fallen for a boy. I like Riley Matthews. Oh this cannot be happening right now. 

Farkle nudges my arm and I assume that means my name has just been read off. I probably didn't heard it since I'm too busy repeating 'I'm so fucked' over and over in my head. 

"Um yeah I'm here" I say with a halfhearted attempt at raising my hand. 

I am too anxious to care about anything else afterwards until we find our seats on the bus. I try to turn my attention to the design of the bus. I guess it is pretty nice for a school trip. I sit down next to Riley with Farkle and Smackle behind us. Lucas and Zay are across the aisle. One of the teachers tells us it will only be about a half hour drive, but the second Riley puts an earbud in and leans her head on my shoulder I know it's gonna be a long one for me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so this is my first fanfiction I've ever written so yeah don't expect too highly from me lmao. It's well into 2017 and the Girl Meets World fandom has declined so I'm just sitting here trying to help keep rilaya alive. I'm still figuring out my update schedule so just a heads up. But yeah okay lets do this, I hope this first chapter is interesting to at least one person who reads it


	2. the trip

Maya's POV

Everyone is talking noisily around me on the bus but I can't concentrate on a single bit of conversation. I look at my lap only to see my hands slightly shaking. 

I take a deep breath to collect my thoughts and hope Riley can't tell how much of a mess I am. Apparently she can since she lifts her head up from my shoulder and turns to me with a concerned look. 

"Are you alright peaches?" she asks and takes out one of her earbuds. 

I force a smile and mutter a "yeah I'm fine." 

She puts her hand on my thigh trying to comfort me which only makes my heartbeat race faster. 

"Alright if you're sure. I'm here if you need anything." 

I've known her since we were little kids so I can tell by her small frown that she's not convinced. Despite that, I breathe out a sigh of relief when she goes back to looking at her Instagram feed and puts her hand back in her own lap. 

Just as I'm beginning to recover I jump at the sudden vibration of my phone in my pocket. It's a text from Farkle. I smirk at the ridiculous contact name I set for him before reading the message. 

MinkusSpawn: Maya what's up with you today?

MayaHart: What are you on about now

MinkusSpawn: Don't try that with me. I'm not blind. Do you think your glare from earlier was forgotten? Usually if I crack a joke like that you just roll your eyes or scoff at me

MayaHart: Well maybe I wanted to mix it up a little. Ever think of that genius?

MinkusSpawn: You do know that I'm directly behind you right?

I shift in my seat to see him through the gap. He gives me a brief wave and looks back at his phone. 

MayaHart: And what does that have to do with this conversation?

MinkusSpawn: I can tell how anxious you've been with Riley. I saw how tense you became when she put her head on your shoulder and again with her hand on your leg. Normally you two seem almost too comfortable with each other. 

MayaHart: I don't want to talk about it. I'm trying to figure some things out

MinkusSpawn: That's something a person would say if there were feelings involved

MayaHart: Oh are you some expert on feelings now Farkle? I just don't know anymore. I'm rethinking everything and I can't give you a definite answer to whatever it is you're asking. I can't tell you what's happening if I don't know even know it myself.

MinkusSpawn: It's okay to feel lost Maya. I can't say I'm surprised, just know that I'm always here for you if you want to talk. I'll support you through whatever happens and for the record, I've shipped you two for years

I choose to ignore the last part but I know he's sincere. 

I turn around and whisper "I don't really know what's going on but thank you Farkle it's good to have your support."

He grins and gives me a thumbs up. 

"Hey do any of you happen to have a charger? Mine is in my suitcase and I'm on five percent" Lucas shouts in our direction over the noise of the bus. 

"I've got one hang on" I hear Riley tell him as she digs around in her bag to find it. 

Once she has it she glances to see if any teachers are watching before standing up in her seat. She leans over to hand it across the aisle and I catch Lucas's eyes look her over slowly before taking the charger. I have to turn away at this point, leaning my head against the windowpane and gritting my teeth. I know I shouldn't be so angry about him doing so, every boy does it, but I still am.

After a few minutes I hear Riley say "I think we're at the museum now." 

Oh. Wonderful. Time to do the learning part of this trip. I'm going to try my best to pay attention while we're at this museum but well I'm me and this is technically educational. I sigh and follow everyone off the bus. We all stand around listening for the group we’ll be spending the day with. 

Riley ends up in a different group than me along along with Lucas and Zay. The second Lucas hears his name read off with Riley's he gives her a small wink and she smiles shyly. 

I don't like her off with Lucas at all. He‘s been flirting with her more often. I've noticed it. I know they tried to date a year or two ago and it was awkward and all that crap. Then there was that whole triangle nightmare. I can't believe I thought I liked him. I hope Riley and Lucas don't try again. We've all gotten older and I don't want to to consider the fact that feelings could have resurfaced or changed. I sure know mine have changed. Thankfully Riley hasn't really showed much flirting back. I don't think my heart could take it. 

I know Farkle and Smackle are in my group so I look around the room where I'm standing. I spot them next to a sculpture scribbling down notes on their papers. I should've guessed. They're actually paying attention to the assignment. Realizing that I have no one to talk with I give up and decide I'll attempt to do the work. Might as well do it now and save Riley the trouble of explaining it to me later. 

Finally we finish at the museum and get on the bus to some buffet place to eat dinner. Most of dinner consists of people eating and talking about their plans for the hotel. I'm pretty sure that I'm rooming with Riley and supposedly another two people. Which has only now become a dilemma. Mr. Matthews had been responsible for who's in what room and knowing him he probably did us a favor and put the same friend groups together. He knows his daughter and I are best friends and I just know we'll end up in the same room. 

Soon enough we’re finished with everything and could make our way to the hotel. The ride is filled with overlapping conversations of who's going to end up as roommates for the night. I see the hotel out the window and gently shake Riley next me to get her to look away from her phone. 

"Oh we're here already?"

"Yeah Riles, maybe try to look up from your phone every once in a while" I say playfully. 

"Hey! You and I both know I'm the most social friend you have" she responds and dramatically flips her hair. 

She's not exactly wrong. I'm the designated introvert of our group who spends most of their time on a phone to drown out everyone else. 

Riley takes my hand and pulls me out of my seat so we can get off the bus. For once I follow without protest since I truly want to know who I'll be in a room with. I force myself to disregard the thought of how soft her hand is. 

Once everyone has grabbed their bags from the lower compartment of the bus we gather in the parking lot at the entrance of the hotel. 

"As you all hopefully know by now, I'm Mr. Matthews. I'll be the one in charge of the boys side of the floor. Listen for your room number and get your key card when you hear your name." 

Only once the other two teachers have read off all their groups do I start to pay attention. I cross my fingers wanting to see how tonight with Riley will play out. I see Riley giving me a thumbs up and smile at her. 

"Darby, Sarah, Jess, and Smackle."

"Yogi, Dave, Charlie, and Noah." 

I didn't recognize two of the names he had called off but they did say some of the groups were from mixed classes. He continues reading off his class list and I wait nervously for my name. 

"Farkle, Zay, and Lucas. You guys will be a room of three." 

Lucas and Zay fist bump and nod to Farkle in front of me. 

"Lastly, Riley and Maya. Since we had an uneven number I figured you would be okay with just being in a pair." 

I could already feel my nerves start at the idea of the whole night alone with her. We barely ever got the same rooms on any previous field trips and settled on face-timing each other most of the night. 

It's only when Riley grins and pulls me into a hug that I realize how hard I've fallen. I pull away and force a smile running a hand through my hair. How am I going to survive tonight in the same room as her when I came to acknowledge my feelings only this morning? This is the epitome of both a blessing and a curse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm back again, I'm going to try to update every two or so weeks (let's see how long that'll last). Also my chapters are going to be kinda long because despite my lack of skill I write a bunch of details. Halloween was yesterday and I guess it's basically Christmas now. And yeah next chapter will be about all of them getting settled into the hotel and the start of some real Rilaya moments


	3. room 218

Maya's POV

I walk up to Mr. Matthews and glance at the keycard he gives me. Room 218. I walk inside the lobby watching Riley push ahead and speak to Smackle. 

Farkle sneaks up behind me and whispers "I see you finally got a room" in my ear. 

Damn. That was good. I can't even be mad at him. I turn around and see him with eyebrows raised and a content grin on his face. I look over his shoulder and see Lucas and Zay pushing their way through everyone to reach us. 

"Farkle you're so annoying" I say as I punch his shoulder. 

"You're just salty because I had a great way of bringing it back"

I open my mouth to come up with some useless comeback but Lucas interrupts.

"So you and Riley are going to be a room of two huh?"

I watch him and Zay catch up to where Farkle and I are walking. 

"Yeah I mean we've slept together in her room countless times, tonight won't be much different" I say with a shrug. Who am I kidding this is going to be the definition of different. 

I watch Zay cross his arms against his chest and grin at me suggestively. Farkle notices this too and bursts out laughing and Lucas smirks. 

I glare at each of them respectively before muttering "oh fuck off all of you."

They give each other high fives and I roll my eyes before walking away. 

"Riley! Smackle! Where are you two?"

I yell into the crowd searching for them despite knowing I probably won't get a response. I hurry farther ahead to find where they've wandered off to. I give up after scanning ahead of me for a bit and decide to find the room. 

"215...216...217...and 218" I count quietly to myself until I reach the end of the hallway. It's the second to last door on the whole floor. That'll end up being a good thing considering the craziness that is sure to ensue on the side where the boys' rooms meet the girls' ones. I swipe my card and drop my bags in the doorway.

"Hey Maya! Isn't this great?" I hear Riley's excited voice exclaim while she opens the curtains to peek outside. 

Well that solves the mystery of the missing Riley.

"Yeah it is. Two beds, a flatscreen tv, and a whole night with my favorite person" I smile at her and she nods happily in agreement. 

"Plus we don't have to worry about the sleeping arrangement like everyone else with only two people"

I watch her kick off her shoes and fix her hair in the mirror. I don't know why she checks it so often, she still looks beautiful with it windblown and messy. 

"Yeah" I reply nervously worrying about how distracted I keep getting.

I pause for a second contemplating whether or not to say what I'm thinking. I take a deep breath and say "Then again we've slept in the same bed for years so we might not even use the other one." 

She turns to me with a shrug and says "that's true I mean we might end up falling asleep watching tv on your bed or something since it's closer that way."

She had already scattered the items from her semi unpacked backpack on the bed closer to the door. I walk over to my bed next to the window and see she was right about the tv. Riley's phone rings and I let her go answer it while I busy myself with organizing my supplies. 

"-Yeah sure Lucas we'll come over there give me a minute" I hear Riley say as she ends a call. 

"The guys said everyone is visiting each other's rooms since the teachers told us we're allowed until 9:30" she says while laying down on her bed. 

I turn on my phone and see it's only 8:15 pm. 

"They said their room is 203" she tells me before I get the chance to ask. 

"Alright let me shower quickly and I'll walk over with you." 

She nods and fifteen minutes later I'm showered and dressed in an oversized band shirt and pajama pants. I hold the door open behind me for Riley as we leave. I notice a bunch of people are also wearing pajamas and knocking on doors throughout the hallway. Riley reaches 203 before me and knocks. 

"Hey, so they made it a rule that we have to have the door propped open if you're gonna come in our room"

Lucas stands in the doorway also in pajamas as the door swings inward to reveal their room. I step in the room telling myself to push my hatred for his flirting away and be civil tonight.

"I mean they did put the boys at the other end of the hallway so I can't say I'm surprised" I point out. 

They obviously didn't want any of the girls to sneak into the boy rooms since well we're teenagers in high school. You would think who the hell would hook up on a school field trip but I wouldn't put it past some people. 

Lucas shoves a duffel bag in the doorway to keep it open as Riley follows behind me. 

"And what exactly are you two doing?" she asks as Farkle and Zay stand in the middle of the room in a 'tense' game of Rock Paper Scissors. 

"Can't talk. I need to beat Zay in this last round if I want a bed all to myself" Farkle mutters. 

I laugh when Zay signs rock and Farkle signs scissors. I watch him sigh in defeat. 

"Fine I guess I'm going to sleep in the bed with Lucas" Farkle grumbles. Zay pumps his fist in the air happy to get a bed to himself. 

"You guys are such idiots" I hear Riley say from the chair in the corner with a shake of her head.

Farkle texts Smackle to come over and we all hang around talking about random things and just enjoying each other's company. Zay brags about how he managed to smuggle 3 bags of candy in with his clothes. Which results in all of us consuming way too much sugar. Riley and I decide to leave a little while later just to visit our girl classmates' rooms.

You can tell that people are excited for the coming night and tomorrow. We find Darby and Sarah in their room playing music and hang out with them. That is, until it hits 9:30 when the teachers start telling everyone to go back to our rooms. I leave for my own room since Riley had disappeared a while ago. 

They tell us the basic advice of be quiet for the night or you'll still get detention and I ignore it. I sneak away unnoticed and go downstairs to the lobby. I buy a soda from the vending machine I spotted earlier before racing back upstairs. The shower is running as I walk in. 

I sit cross legged on my bed drinking the soda while scrolling through my phone until I hear the water stop. I continue checking other notifications until I see movement in my peripheral vision. 

"Hey Maya...um can you toss me my shirt from my bed?" I hear Riley mumble quietly. 

I look over to see her right outside the bathroom door. Oh shit. My eyes widen slightly and my breath hitches in my throat. I swallow hard and bite my lip out of habit, trying to stay emotionless. She's dressed only in shorts and a bra. She keeps fiddling with her fingers anxiously. Her damp hair cascades down her bare shoulders and I see a slight blush coloring her cheeks when I find the strength to meet her eyes. 

"Y-Yeah here" I choke out as I reach over and toss the shirt across the room to her. 

She flashes me a nervous smile before darting back into the bathroom. I already know I was staring for too long. Despite being friends for as long as I can remember we've never really seen each other shirtless. It just doesn't happen. The beach being the only exception. The fact that I'm actually really attracted to her makes it have ten times more of an impact than it would before.

"Great. Just great. This is going to be harder than I thought" I whisper as I throw myself back onto the bed and stare mindlessly at the ceiling. 

I listen to the bathroom door open and mentally prepare myself for the situation that I'll have to face when she walks in again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm quite happy with how this chapter turned out. It's pretty chill, well until the end. And remember this is only the first part of their night


	4. lasting memories

Maya's POV

I grab the remote and start aimlessly searching through channels on the tv. I see Riley approach the bed out of the corner of my eye. 

She lays down so her head is next to my hip and casually asks "So what are we watching?" 

I glance down at her from my sitting position. If she's not going to say anything about what just happened neither am I. 

"Whatever you want to" I say handing her the remote with as convincing of a smile as I can manage. 

She stops on a movie that I don't recognize but one she apparently does. I really couldn't tell you what it was about. It just seemed like every other movie about a bunch of teenagers living their dramatic lives. 

After a while she shifts her head so that it's in my lap and I curse myself silently for my heart fluttering. I pretend that I'm not losing my mind and settle on running my fingertips through her hair, untangling the ends of it. We stay like this for what could've been a few minutes or a full hour, and if I could have it my way it would've been forever. I don't care enough to check the time because the last thing I want is for the moment to end. 

"Maybe you wouldn't be in this situation if you had actually been listening and not whining about your loser boyfriend constantly" Riley scoffs from my lap with a long roll of her eyes. 

She's gotten a bit more sarcastic and witty lately and I have tumblr to thank for the newfound entertainment. All my complaining about her not having an account definitely payed off last summer. 

I smile softly down at her. Man is she beautiful. I know I should watch the movie but I honestly couldn't care less. She looks up and notices me staring. Her brown eyes meet my own with a questioning look.

"What?" she asks, raising her eyebrows. 

I'm don't say anything, I only look at her.

"Cmon Maya you've gotta tell me" she whines. 

I shake my head quickly and say "Nothing. Only that your commentary is really adorable...just like you"

I surprise both of us with that statement. Oh god is it too flirty? Did I make her uncomfortable? All of my fear is quieted when the only thing she does is bite her lip slightly and sit up next to me.

"Not as adorable as you" she mumbles shyly, looking away. 

Neither of us seem to know what to say next and silence ensues. I search for something to say but she leans over and kisses my cheek leaving me at a loss again. She has no idea how much I wish it wasn't just on the cheek. My skin actually feels like a forest fire where her lips came into contact with it. It's like I'm getting gayer by the second. Why do feelings have to exist and why do they have to rush in like this. 

"I'm bored let's just listen to music" 

She hops off my bed to get her phone off her own. At least it's not quiet anymore. I take a deep breath and tell myself to keep it together.

"Fine but if you play Toxic again you're dead to me Matthews"

"It's iconic. You wouldn't know miss 'all I listen to is Mr. Brightside on repeat'" she taunts.

"No Britney. End of discussion"

I don't have anything against Britney Spears but Riley has played that song to death. She pouts but seems to get the message. I turn to see my phone phone go off signaling a text from Farkle. 

MinkusSpawn: So how's Riley ;) 

MinkusSpawn: Sorry that was Zay. But I mean it's true, how is everything going with Riley?

I roll my eyes but type a reply back anyways. 

MayaHart: Everything is fine, now shut up and go to bed it's almost 11 

Riley and I aren't even remotely tired enough to go to bed but I wasn't about to tell him that. She puts on a playlist and we listen to a few songs while scrolling around online. That is, until get a notification with a text from her.

"I'm literally less than ten feet away" I say aloud. 

"Just look at it" she shrugs. 

I open it and see that it just tells me to check my dms from her. "I can't believe you" I say and go to open them, seeing a satisfied grin on her face. It's a tumblr textpost someone reblogged.

'Straighteners aren't worth your money, I've been using one for a year and I'm definitely still gay'

I laugh at it since it's unusual she'd send me this kind of thing. It's more likely I'd see it on my dashboard.

"Where'd you find this? It's actually really funny"

"It was just on some aesthetics blog" she says quickly. 

Is she trying to tell me something by showing me this? I open my mouth to question it but decide not to. Don't over analyze Maya. Soon enough we're just sending each other posts until I hear Taylor Swift's voice start to play and groan. 

"Yes!" Riley yells and jumps off her bed. 

I'm not all that into Taylor's music although I respect it. Riley on the other hand loves all her songs and will force me to listen to them, especially the older albums. She grabs her hairbrush and begins dancing around the room singing along to every single word. I sigh but lay forward resting my chin in my hands and listen anyways. 

"I'm on my guard for the rest of the world but with you I know its no good and I could wait patiently but I really wish you would drop everything now, meet me in the pouring rain, kiss me on the sidewalk take away the pain 'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile"

I smile softly not able to tear my eyes away from the girl twirling around the room in front of me. Who knew I could truly like a Taylor Swift song. I can't help but wonder who's on Riley's mind while she's singing all of this. I start to process that it's probably Lucas but then she locks eyes with me. She's smiling, singing the chorus still continuing her little performance. I grin and hide my face in my hands shyly. I'd rather she doesn't see how quickly I'm falling in love with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright so this chapter is kinda short compared to what I normally would write. Also we will get to see Riley's point of view I just tend to write more in Maya's whoops. I'm not going to take as long to post chapter 5 but for now here's a bit of cute fluff


	5. nightlife

Riley's POV

I lean against the side of Maya's bed once the song fades out. I haven't been able to get her saying I'm adorable off my mind. I mean I can try to brush it off as a simple compliment but the way she looked at me makes it pretty difficult. It's pathetic, but I've been pushing my crush on her away for a little over two months now. I kinda take pride in hiding it well. Or at least I hope I'm hiding it.

Coming to terms with the fact that I like her as more than just my friend hit me hard. She had been in a deep state of concentration, sketching something in the corner of the room. The way the sunlight shone on her face from the bay window, it was mesmerizing. As I studied her for way too long everything just fell into place. Which, in turn, resulted in me practically falling off the side of my bed in total shock. 

I don't think Maya is aware of how much I've learned from late nights of questioning my entire existence. I've may have come to terms with the fact that I'm a raging bisexual, but that doesn't mean I know how to handle falling for my best friend. I honestly don't know how the people in my life would respond to any of this. I'm lucky that they're all relatively accepting as far as I know but I don't know what I should do. Sometimes I want to come out and have the world know and other times I'd rather be flat against the back wall of the closet. I've had things click in my mind, gotten over the whole 'guess I'm not as straight as I originally thought'. Well except for the part about crushing on my straight best friend, but I can't help it I mean just looking at her takes my breath away sometimes. No matter how cliche that sounds it's painfully true. 

Tonight has given me a sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, there's a chance she feels something too. I can't let myself overthink it. The thought of screwing up and losing her forever is terrifying. Maya may still think she's broken and someone who doesn't deserve love but she's not. I've broken down her walls and the only thing I can see is a wonderful girl with a beautiful mind. One I'm currently losing my own mind over.

I snap out of my daze when I hear a door close. I'm facing the main door so it couldn't have been that one. I hadn't even been paying attention after the song, just letting the next one play through. I look around the room noticing that Maya has disappeared.

I get to my feet, remembering that we do have a door that leads out to the balcony. The teachers made it a rule that we couldn't go out there but knowing Maya, she didn't listen. I turn the handle and see her sitting with her back against the wall. I hadn't even realized it was pouring. When did that start?

"You do realize it's raining right? How did you even get out here anyways?" I ask.

"Yeah. The rain is calming, I wanted to come out here and watch it. It's pretty late but I mean this seems peaceful to me. A good way to wind down. To answer your second question, you're best friends with me babe. Picking that lock isn't that difficult" she responds with a dramatic flip of her hair. 

I shrug and slide down the wall next to her. It takes a few seconds to register that she just called me babe.  
As if I wasn't already internally flipping out, she reaches my hand and intertwines it with her own. 

I stare ahead and watch the lights of cars speeding by in the dark of the night. Her hand is always so soft. It's warm and gentle, nothing like when I held hands with Lucas. I catch myself there and refuse to let my mind wander more. I stand up to get a better view of our surroundings. 

"You should be glad this balcony isn't completely open to the weather or you'd be getting soaked" I point out, hoping to disrupt my current train of thought. She stands next to me.

"Yeah no shit Sherlock" she says playfully and I don't have to see her face to know she's rolling her eyes. 

"Well I mean can't you see how much rain-" I'm cut off when Maya pushes me a few feet forward into the downpour. 

I scramble back into the dry part next to her as fast as I can. 

"What was that for?! Peaceful. Yeah right." I say shaking off the water.

"It was to see your reaction and I was right, it was hilarious" she says and bursts out laughing. 

I can't even pretend to be mad once I hear the sound of her laugh. I just stand there watching her illuminated by the dim lights of the city around us, letting my emotions get the best of me once again. 

"Well I don't think you thought that through, you jerk, because now my shirt is all wet. I didn't bring another one and you're gonna have to deal with this" I joke and gesture to my soaked shirt. Thankfully my shorts didn't get too wet.

"Totally worth it to see your face" she giggles. 

I glare at her and punch her arm lightly. 

"Let's go inside we'll need sleep if we're going to have energy tomorrow. Oh and you need to get dry" she says standing and holding the door open to the room. 

I shiver slightly as I walk in, feeling a blast from the air conditioning hit my shirt. 

"Um here, you can wear my hoodie and sleep in that. Sorry by the way" she says and tosses me the one she wore this morning before the weather got too warm. 

It's black with the word 'dream' surrounded by a colorful splatter paint pattern. I remember the day she bought it. It was in the back of this small store Farkle had wandered into. The three of us were walking around the city last November and he saw a jean jacket he liked in the window. He pulled us along into the store. Maya found the hoodie and insisted on buying it instantly, making me hold her beanie just so she could put it on right then and there. She couldn't stop smiling the rest of the day and even then I thought it was extremely cute. It quickly became one of her favorites that I'd see her wear constantly.

"Don't be, you were just messing around like always" I assure her suddenly remembering I'm in the middle of a conversation. She nods dismissively and I go into the bathroom to change, making sure to take everything with me this time. Don't need a repeat of my stupidity with the shower. I walk out into the room again. This is comfortable I see why she loves it so much.

"You look really good in hoodies, you should wear them more" she replies, looking me up and down. 

She did not just check me out. No I'm just delusional. It's midnight, we're both tired, and I have an awful habit of reading into things too much. 

"Only if they're yours, then maybe I'll consider it." 

Wow what happened to trying to being secretive about everything. 

She smiles softly, playing with her hands in her lap as I lay down next to her on her bed. I pull the covers over both of us and turn off the light switch next to the bed. When I turn back to face her I inhale sharply at how close her face is to mine. I can see her smile at me in the moonlight as she brushes a few damp locks of hair out of my face. 

I almost died right then and there but manage to whisper "goodnight Maya." 

And with a sudden surge of confidence I close the space between us, gently pressing my lips to her forehead. I could've sworn I saw a blush coloring her cheeks in the darkness. 

"Goodnight Riley" she whispers back sleepily and shifts to face the window. 

As much as I wish she didn't turn away I'm glad she did. Every part of me was screaming to truly kiss her right then. I need to learn to tone it down because hoping that the feelings are mutual is a one way trip to getting my heart broken. I'm no stranger to stories of how wrong this type of thing can go. There's so many reasons for me to keep my distance but then again so many possibilities if I don't. 

After about a minute I can't stand it anymore. I slowly move closer to her so that I'm laying against against her back, placing my arm over her hip. I take a shaky breath and move her hair to the side resting my head in the crook of her neck. I squeeze my eyes shut and hope she doesn't notice how fast my heart is racing. I wait for her reaction praying she won't shake me off and move away. She just sighs quietly, seemingly content, and I'm taken aback by it.

I open my eyes slowly and ignore all the emotions swirling in my head. I focus on the fact that we're actually cuddling like this. I'm wide awake until I eventually I feel Maya drift off to sleep. I find myself wishing I had drank some coffee or something this morning because it's becoming harder to keep my eyes open. I want to stay awake. I want to remember every detail of her face in the moonlight, how soft her skin feels against mine. Stupid sleep ruining everything. But soon enough the long day takes its toll and I have to give in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a note that I was listening to Fast Car by Jonas Blue and Is There Somewhere by Halsey a lot while writing this and I feel like it's reflected slightly and they're both calming so I'm writing it in here. I actually like the mood of this chapter and it's from Riley's point of view as promised. It's snowing where I live right now and everything is just festive so I'm happy


	6. back to you

Maya's POV

My eyes flutter open tiredly. I come to my senses with an initial feeling of total confusion. Once it wears off and yesterday comes flooding back I notice her arms around my waist. Riley's body is pressed against mine, arms around me and head next to my own. I can feel her light breaths on the back of my neck which sends shivers down my spine. I shift slowly, not wanting her to pull her arms away. I'm met with a peacefully sleeping Riley who's hair still manages to look perfect. She lets out a tiny yawn and tightens her grip on me. 

I should be freaking out but instead I'm just smiling like an idiot at how beautiful she looks. Last night wasn't only a dream. That was real.

I'm giving up trying to deny that I like her because I'm just flat out lying to myself now. I'm good at adjusting and I accept things fast but I expected this to be different. I figured it would take me longer to wrap my head around but wow was I wrong.

I know it's probably since I've known her for years. We been inseparable for a long time, she's been with me through good times and bad. She's the only one who's seen me at my worst, the only one who can calm me down just by being there. Who do I go to when it feels like everything is falling apart? Riley. Who still drops everything for me even if it's two in the morning? Riley. 

If anyone asked me about having a crush on Riley Matthews a few days ago I'd laugh right in their face. Now I don't think I'd even be able to get a word out without making it obvious. I guess I assumed I was straight but the amount of times my heartbeat has sped up because of her in the past twenty-four hours isn't very straight. I mean when she kissed me goodnight on the forehead last night my whole body just went weak. I felt her heartbeat when she snuggled up against me and it definitely didn't help my overall confusion about these feelings. I don't know why it was beating as fast as mine but I'm holding on to some hope that her initiating that whole thing meant something.

"What time is it?" she mumbles sleepily.

She opens her eyes slowly and I see them widen when she looks into mine. 

"Oh um I'm sorry I didn't mean to...I just..." she says nervously, pulling her hands away. 

"Don't apologize" I tell her, surely a blushing a mess. We look at each other, neither one of us sure what to do. Should I explain myself? Even if I tried to I'd make things worse. 

I sit up and run a hand through my hair. I watch her grab her phone off the side table and exclaim "shit we woke up late" with a groan. 

"Did I just hear perfect little Riley curse? Hmm I wonder what your father would think if he heard this" I tease as I push the covers off and get out of bed.

"Oh shut up" she says throwing a glance in my direction and sticking out her tongue. 

"Rude" I scoff but grin afterwards, glad to avoid acknowledging our sleeping situation. 

"We're supposed to be downstairs for breakfast at eight."

"What time is it?" I ask as I brush through my hair. 

"7:45" she responds. 

"Well we did go to sleep late and neither of us thought to set an alarm" I point out as she puts her phone down and grabs her outfit. 

"Yeah you're right" she says. 

I watch her standing there out of the corner of my eye. She's holding her clothes but hasn't made a move to go change. 

"Are you going to go get dressed or...?"

"Are we both going to ignore last night?" she blurts out. 

I freeze and almost drop the brush in surprise. Well I guess she didn't ignore it. I look at her in the reflection of the mirror before turning to properly face her. Once I do I see her staring back shyly with her hands shoved in the pocket of my sweatshirt. It would be an adorable sight if I wasn't freaking out so much. 

"Sure but maybe we can talk about it tomorrow or something?" I suggest carefully. 

"Okay, whatever works for you" she replies happily. 

She's the one who wanted to talk about it but immediately drops the subject. I wonder if she's just as hesitant as I am. It hasn't even been thirty seconds and I'm already dreading having that conversation. Maybe I can get out of it. 

She goes to change, talking excitedly about the rides and the boardwalk. Second day of the trip, I can do this. 

She walks past afterwards and tosses my hoodie back to me. 

"Here's your hoodie, thank you for letting me borrow it for the night by the way." 

"No problem, I mean I was the reason you had to wear it" I catch it with a shrug. 

I rush through getting ready and we manage to get out the door five minutes before it hit eight. I shove my phone and keycard in the pocket of my shorts and walk down the hallway to the staircase. 

We run into the boys coming out of their room and stop to tag along. 

"How'd you sleep?" I ask and take in their expressions. 

"Terribly" Lucas says as he rubs his eyes. 

"Great" Zay responds. 

"Fine" Farkle says. 

Riley smirks at the different responses. 

"Care to elaborate?" I say and raise an eyebrow at them. 

"Well I decided to take the small pullout couch because I didn't want to deal with Farkle moving around. At around 11:30 I tried to go to bed but Zay and Farkle kept whispering and Zay was asking all these ridiculous questions about the universe. Let's just say I'm a light sleeper and my attempts at quieting them down weren't successful" Lucas says and glares at Zay. 

"It was late at night man! I'm sorry I have thoughts to express! I wasn't even that loud" Zay says to defend himself. 

"Yes you were Zay. You shouldn't be complaining Lucas. I was the one who had to deal with his questions regardless of how much I wanted to sleep. I'd like to see you try to answer questions that literally have no logical answer. I fell asleep trying to tell him to leave me alone" Farkle says and crosses his arms.

"What exactly was he asking?" I say.

"I think one was 'why is it that if someone yells the word duck it's to help to but if they yell chicken it's to insult you?'" Lucas says and rolls his eyes. 

"I do remember that one" Farkle yawns.

"I mean it is a legitimate question" Riley says. 

"Some of his questions were more interesting than you're giving him credit for. I remember one was 'is the sand called sand because it's in between the sea and land?'" Farkle says. 

"Zay has a point" Smackle laughs as she approaches us in the hallway. 

We all say good morning to her and begin to descend the flight of stairs. Farkle and Smackle lagging behind to talk and Zay still grumbling about how he wasn't being loud. 

Lucas sighs and opens the door to the cafeteria as we scan the room for an empty table. 

"How did you two sleep? Farkle said he texted you at around eleven and you both were apparently still up" Smackle asks me as she grabs a chair. 

"Great" Riley says.

"Pretty well actually" I reply. 

Riley looks right at me and I can't pinpoint what emotions are going through her mind which worries me. I've always been able to tell when she's upset or conflicted. Right before she breaks my gaze I see a glimmer of what seems like fear in her eyes. What's she afraid of? Do I have something to do with it? 

"Maya are you coming?" Lucas asks gesturing to the rest of the group leaving to get breakfast. 

"Yeah, lets go" I say and shake off my confusion. 

After I'm sitting back down with a bowl of cereal and a bagel I listen to the conversation. I immediately regret this decision. 

Lucas, Zay, and Farkle are talking with some other guys at the table next to us about pick up lines. PSA, men of the world, pick up lines are a terrible method to get a girl. Do better. It's not like they even work, at least not on me. Well actually there might be a reason for that now but they're still awful.

I eat my food silently since Riley is on her phone and Smackle is busy trying to be the logical one in the pick up line discussion. 

"It would totally work! Admit it that's a great one" Lucas argues with a random guy at the other table. 

"Sure bro whatever" the boy responds and puts his hands up in mock surrender. 

Lucas then turns to Riley next to him since she's sitting between us. He wouldn't dare. 

"Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got fine written all over you" he says and smiles that annoying perfect smile at her. 

I groan the second it's out of his mouth and am about to make a sarcastic comment until I see Riley's reaction. She rolls her eyes but continues to look at him with a playful grin for a while. He manages to tear his eyes away eventually and gloat about how it worked to all the other guys. 

I try not to get worked up over it but the way they looked at each other annoys me beyond belief. I unclench my fists under the table. I sigh when seeing how much I'd dug my nails into my palms. I pull out my phone as a suitable distraction. 

A Snapchat notification from Farkle appears as I unlock it. I lift my head up and see him holding his phone, guess he got sick of the conversation as well. I open it and see a picture of myself from his position at the table with the caption 'someone's jealous'. 

I glare at the phone and type 'shut up and eat your eggs' back to him. He looks up at me and makes a big deal of taking a bite of his scrambled eggs. I flip him off and get up to clear my plate. 

After everyone's done and has their bags packed in the bus compartment we climb on. 

"Hey Riley wanna sit together?" Lucas asks. 

Fuckboy Friar has made an appearance for the second time today I see. She however accepts and I feel like someone just stabbed me in the chest. Despite last night and everything she's practically flirting back with him now. She doesn't feel the same, it didn't mean as much to her as it did to me. 

I take a deep breath and grab Farkle's arm. 

"You're sitting with me" I say and jerk my head to the direction of Riley and Lucas sitting together. 

"What about Smackle-" I interrupt him by yelling to Zay a few people behind us. 

"Zay can you sit with Smackle?" 

"Yeah sure thing" he yells back and gives me a thumbs up. 

At least that worked out well. Farkle and I sit down and he knows to stay quiet and settles on putting his arm around my shoulder. I lean against him and we stay in that position for the next 45 minutes. 

"Cheer up Maya, things will work out" he assures me when we finally stand up to get off the bus. 

"You don't know that" I say warily. 

The rest of the day I tend to stick closer to Farkle since Riley seems distant and is avoiding me. I don't know what's up with her but I tune it out and have fun on all the rides with the rest of the group. Her and Lucas split off a few times to go on other rides which only makes it more difficult to concentrate on remaining passive. 

Time flies by fast thankfully and it's time for us to get ready for the ride home. I've completely ignored Lucas since breakfast and he hasn't seemed to have noticed. Too caught up flirting with Riley.

"Did you have a good time?" Farkle asks walking up next to me with Smackle at his side. 

"Surprisingly, yes. This field trip wasn't as stupid as I anticipated it would be" I respond truthfully. 

After another few minutes Zay runs up to walk with us, and the bus comes into view. Farkle and Smackle jog past the rest of our classmates to get there faster. I watch them and hang behind, too tired to catch up. Zay has already gone somewhere and I know I'll meet up with him eventually so I don't give it much thought.

Then I feel a tap on my shoulder. I assume it's Zay but spin around and he's nowhere to be found. I face forward again and am met with Riley's smiling face awfully close to mine. I trip and fall on the ground in shock, especially since she hasn't interacted with me since this morning.

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you" she says and offers a hand to me. 

I take it and get back up, brushing myself off.

"It's fine. Where's Lucas? Shouldn't you be with him?" I say. 

I didn't mean for it to come out so it rudely but it just did. She takes a deep breath and I see the guilt evident on her face. 

"Listen I'm sorry I've avoided you and spent more time with Lucas. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings it's just...I don't know how to..." she trails off. It's only then that I notice the tears forming in her eyes. 

"Hey hey it's alright, I'm not mad at you" I tell her and pull her into a hug. 

It's true, I can't look into those eyes and continue to be upset with her. I don't ever want her to cry, it's rare it even happens. Something is definitely up with her and I wish I was able to tell what.

"Can we sit together on the bus this time?" she asks, pulling away and blinking back her tears. 

"Of course" I reply softly and we walk together to join the rest of the grade on the bus. 

I find two seats near the front and Riley and I sit down. I scan the faces behind us and see Farkle and Smackle a couple rows back. Zay and Lucas are much farther behind them in the back thankfully. Riley leans her head on my shoulder as we drive off and it doesn't even affect me the way it has recently. I'm too concerned about her and what she's not telling me. The way she seemed scared earlier and then came back to me almost breaking down in tears. I still don't know what she's hiding but I force myself to relax as I lean my head against hers for the ride home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow this chapter is longer than usual and all over the place but I honestly tried to write a lot cuz I've got exams soon. My school actually gives us them after Christmas break which is quite annoying. Today is the 22nd and Christmas is so close! where has December gone? I can't believe 2017 is almost over but before I ramble too much I just want to say Happy Holidays and I hope that the new year starts out well for you all


	7. secrets

Riley's POV

"We're back at school" Maya whispers.

"I don't wanna get up" I whine when hearing the chatter of people around me.

"Well you're going to have to" she says and pokes me in the side. 

"Oh fine" I say tiredly and throw scattered items into my backpack. 

Taking a nap on the way distracted me from today's events. Now that I'm conscious again, the worrying has returned. I really made a mess of things by bringing up the whole thing about last night. I'm terrified of having that discussion because I don't want to talk to her about it. I want to leave it alone.

I spent all day with Lucas trying to avoid Maya and my feelings. I know it wasn't a good idea but I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. All of this is a new feeling which I'm constantly nervous about ruining. Lucas probably thinks I'm into him again which is the farthest from accurate right now. I thought that being around him would help but there's just not any feelings there anymore. He's nice and physically attractive I guess but he's just not Maya. Every time I'm around her it's just a constant feeling of butterflies and happiness. His flirting attempts haven't gone unnoticed but I don't know how to respond when I'm clearly just hopelessly falling for Maya. 

It's just a hopeless crush on a person who won't love me the way I love them, I have to find a way to make it go away I just have to. People say to follow your heart but my heart only longs to be with her and I can't risk breaking it because of one sided feelings. 

I walk off the bus and decide I need to at least come out to Maya as bisexual soon. She deserves to know that.

"How's it going?" Zay asks as he slings an arm around my shoulders.

"Well it's uh going" I smile at him.

Zay is remarkably good at being the casual and laid back friend. He's always in a good mood and is constantly joking around. He honestly hasn't changed much since I first met him. It's a welcome attitude in my life especially right now.

"Nothing you want to talk about?"

"No. Why?" I ask slowly.

"Well I know you didn't really interact with Maya today. And listen I'm glad for my boy Lucas and all but seriously is everything alright?" he says. 

"Yep we're fine everything's good now" I smile.

He's just trying to be a good friend which I appreciate but I wish it wasn't noticeable enough for him to even ask.

He looks at me for a long moment. I doubt he believes me, but then reaches into his backpack and randomly pulls out a bag of gummy bears. He hands them to me.

"Zay, any particular reason you're giving me these?" I reply, gesturing to the gummy bears.

"Well I figured you could use some sugar" he says.

"Did you steal them from Farkle?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

He has a habit of taking Farkle's food and probably owes him a ton of money for the amount of snacks he's snuck away.

"Yeah but he won't mind" Zay waves his hand dismissively.

I put the stolen gummy bears in my own bag knowing full well that Farkle will be upset but he'll have to get over it. 

"Thanks Zay" I flash him a quick smile before starting to walk again.

"No problem, see you Monday" he grins and salutes before jogging over to Lucas.

After a series of small goodbyes to other classmates I search for Maya. I spot her sitting on the curb waiting for her parents. 

"Hey" I say while taking a seat next to her. 

"Hi" she replies. 

We just sit there for a few minutes in silence neither one attempting to make conversation. She seems distracted, not pushing me away just lost in thought. I hope she's not still thinking about last night, this just feels so awkward. Eventually Shawn's familiar car pulls into the parking lot. 

"Well there's Shawn now" she says and picks up her duffel bag. 

She starts walking away and I prepare to go find my father but suddenly she turns back around. She comes back over and hugs me tightly. 

"Riles?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry if I seemed detached at all today, I've had a lot going on in my head. I'll see you tomorrow okay" she says and gives a weak smile before pulling away and walking to the car. 

"If she thinks she's got a lot in her head, she'd hate to see mine" I mumble to myself. Catching feelings is exhausting.

~~~

I head back in search of my father and we drive home. The ride is surprisingly okay especially since I got control over the music. 

"It's not my fault they sound similar!" he exclaims as he unlocks the door.

I open it and walk past Auggie on the couch to put my bag down. He's sketching something in a book. Good to know someone in this family has artistic talent. 

"They don't sound even remotely alike" I say defensively.

"What is it this time, can't you two ever walk through that door together peacefully?" Topanga sighs from the kitchen table as she closes a book.

"Not my fault he can't tell Dinah and Normani apart" I say and sit down at the table.

"Is this about Fifth Harmony again?" Auggie says without even bothering to even look up. 

"Cory it is not difficult. You both have had this argument countless times already" she says, clearly over it. 

"Well that's easy for you to say Topanga you've heard their music more. How am I supposed to tell them all apart? Everyone sounds the same in current music!" he complains and grabs a bottle of water from the fridge.

"I'm done with this uncultured conversation" I say and jokingly flip my hair on the way to my room. 

I love my dad but when it comes to current music he's a lost cause. 

I work on a Spanish project until it's time for dinner. I haven't improved a ton with the subject, but hoping for a B is good enough. My father manages to keep his cluelessness out of the dinner conversations and soon I'm back in my room watching as the day fades into night. I end up watching a movie until I begin to fall asleep. 

The next day drags while I babysit some kids down the hall and accompany my mom as she runs errands. When I'm back in the solitude of my bedroom it's later than I expected. A knock on the window makes me jump. I know Maya isn't one to forget easily. She's going to want to discuss what I suggested even if I don't want to anymore. 

She climbs in and sits next to me in the bay window. 

"So" I say quietly. 

"Yeah" she replies fiddling with her fingers. 

I sigh knowing I'll have to get it together and speak to make this uncomfortable. 

"I know I said we should talk about this but I mean we don't have to. It's only a big deal if we make it one" I say, proud of myself for not sounding shaky.

"I'm fine with moving on, plus I've got something to show you" she replies quickly but I detect a sense of hesitation in her voice. I wonder what that's about.

She goes on to tell me about the new puppy her neighbors had gotten yesterday and pulls up pictures. I will admit that the pictures of the small yellow lab are absolutely adorable. But I know I need to come clean about what I've been hiding. I turn and cross my legs as I face her. 

"Hey Maya I've got something to tell you. I'm not really sure how to say it but I  realized a little over a month or so ago. It was part of the reason I was away from you when we were at Coney Island, I was just too consumed by worrying. I don't know how you'll take it but I-I'm bisexual. I'm sorry it took so long to tell you" I say as steadily as I can manage. 

I squeeze my eyes shut in fear of her response and take a deep breath but there's only silence. I don't think she’ll be unaccepting but wow everyone is right about how nerve wracking it can be to come out for the first time. The various scenarios of how it could go down swirl in my mind frantically. After a few seconds I open one eye, searching her face for a reaction. 

"Well that definitely tops my news. I'm proud of you for having the courage to say it honey. Don't be sorry for keeping it in, you waited until you were ready to come out at your own pace as you should" she says softly. 

I look at her. she seems sincere about it. 

"So you're not surprised or mad or anything?" I ask quietly. 

She puts her hand on top of mine gently before speaking. "I could never be mad at you for this, it's who you are. Your sexuality could never change the way I think of you. As for surprised sure a tiny bit but I mean it doesn't matter, it's who you are Riles"

"Thank you. For everything. It won't change anything between us. I'm just grateful you had a positive reaction" I say and I let myself relax. 

"Am I the first person you've told?" she asks and I nod. 

"I'm glad to be your first reaction. I hope the rest are as positive, whenever you're ready" she smiles.

I'm still recovering from the weight of this secret being lifted off my chest when I see her smile turn into a smirk. She lifts up my hand and examines it.

"What are you looking at?"

"Nothing Riles just that you really better get in a habit of trimming your nails" she says casually.

"Maya! Oh we are NOT having this conversation!" I say as I throw a pillow at her.

"Oooh look who's blushing" she laughs and throws the pillow back.

"Should've known you wouldn't be able to resist making an inappropriate comment to finish this conversation" I groan as I catch the pillow.

"That's my brand" she flips her hair to the side.

I shake my head at her antics and go to grab my laptop off of my bed. She jumps onto the bed next to me, giggling to herself, as I click on a YouTube video. She watches it with me and things feel like they're actually going to be alright between us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So all of my exams are finally over, bless. Getting to write is way better than studying math formulas lmao. January is close to over and I'm genuinely just shocked the first month of 2018 went so fast. Me incorporating my love of fifth harmony into this? it's more likely than you think. Riley finally came out to Maya in this chapter! Next chapter there's going to be more interaction with Zay, Lucas, Farkle, and Smackle because this is lacking in moments with them all together. See you next update y'all


	8. subway stops

Maya's POV

"I can't cram all this information into my head in one weekend" I groan as I push my textbook away from me. 

The past week had flown by and I couldn't be bothered to care about creating a studying schedule.

"That's why you should have started studying earlier, Maya. I told you finals would be hard if you sat around and procrastinated" Riley sighs.

All of us had decided to study together at Zay's house. Or at least attempt to. I came over at my mother's request since exam week starts tomorrow. I didn't protest because what's the hurt in going over the material with people who are actually prepared. I feel the textbook being placed back in my lap.

"You have to keep going Peaches. Once you get through this week you'll be free" Riley says calmly. 

"But it's too much to memorize" I pout. 

"Not if you focus on it, I know you've got it in you" she says. 

She shifts to sit in front of me and crosses her legs. 

"Here I'll quiz you. What was the year the Treaty of Paris was signed to end the French and Indian War?" she says.

I hear her ask something but I'm too focused on staring at her lips to realize I'm supposed to answer. 

"Maya" she snaps her fingers in front of me and waits for my response. 

"Oh yeah uh 1850 or something I don't know" I say while forcing myself to look back up at her. 

There you go Maya, words actual coherent words. I know my answer was probably wrong but I got distracted. 

"1763" she says trying not to laugh at how far off I was. 

"Maya you really thought it was in the 1800's? You were like a century off" Lucas says from the couch. 

"Hey shut up I wasn't paying attention" I say defensively. 

He shrugs and goes back to tapping a pencil against his notebook.

"Hey Zay?" Farkle calls from the kitchen.

"What's up?" Zay yells back and looks as Farkle walks in holding a pot.

"I was searching for a water bottle but I'm more curious about whatever this is on the stove. Like dude what did you cook?" Farkle says.

He walks over to the chair Zay's sitting in and holds the pot out for him to see.

Zay glances up from his papers and says "oh I made soup."

"This is some poorly chopped onions floating in chicken broth"

Riley and I start laughing when Zay simply shrugs and gets back to work as Farkle gives him a look. 

"Isaiah Babineaux everybody" Lucas says, clearly amused.

"What's the point of even doing that it wouldn't taste like anything and— you know what just forget it I'm not going to even try" Farkle shakes his head and goes to put the 'soup' back in the kitchen.

"Now that Zay's experiment is back where it belongs..." Smackle begins to say but raises her voice to talk to Farkle in the other room. 

"Farkle dump it in the sink would you" she tells him before lowering her voice and addressing all of us again. 

"I have to define what love means to me for psychology class. Any of you have an idea?" she says. 

"What even is love? How do you figure out what it means?" Lucas asks aloud. 

I watch him as he tosses a ball of paper in the air and catches it aimlessly. So much for studying. What if he asking that for a reason.  
He better keep his distance from Riley even if she has seemed to let his pretty boy tricks slide. 

"Giving the other person the bigger piece of pizza, that's love" Zay says. 

Farkle rolls his eyes, now back in his spot on the floor near Smackle.

"You aren't any help Zay" I tell him. 

Zay pretends to be offended, as usual. 

"Love is when you like someone so much that they're always on your mind no matter how much you try to focus on something else. You care about them more than anything and the world is brighter when they're around" Riley says. 

I look back at her again and she seems to come back to reality. 

"Well from what I've heard and everything" she says quickly and averts her eyes to her lap. 

I notice Lucas smiling out of the corner of my eye. She said someone, it's not all about you. He meets my gaze and gives me a confused look and I realize I'm glaring at him. I refuse to let myself think she's actually in love with him or some other guy. She would never think of me like that so I don't want to even guess who she has in mind. 

"I doubt that's what the literary definition would be but it's better than some joke about pizza" Smackle's voice breaks the silence.

"It's bound to be somewhere in the textbook, I'll help you" Farkle says and with that everyone focuses their attention back on the work.

I glance at Riley every so often wondering where that little speech came from but she's too busy to notice. After two more hours of me pretending to study we all end up leaving to attempt to sleep before the week of hell ahead. 

~~~

I barely finish the week, surviving on coffee and regret for my procrastination habits. I'm sure I failed at least one exam but Friday afternoon does finally roll around. The second the school bell rings I'm up and out the door, glad to be officially done. 

"See I told you that you would make it through exam season" Riley says as she catches up to me walking down the front steps. 

"It was a nightmare but yeah by some miracle I did" I respond.

"My dad is staying late for a meeting so I'll just catch a train home with you" she says.

"Mind if I join you?" Farkle interrupts as he puts an arm around Riley.

"Sure why not" she smiles. 

"Yeah we could always use a Farkle around"

"I'm inviting myself along" Zay yells as he runs up to the three of us.

"Don't you have to go help your mom today?" Riley asks.

"Well yes but who says I can't tag along until we split off" Zay replies.

"I guess I have no choice but to make room for your overbearing personality in my afternoon schedule" Farkle says, earning him a flick in the head from Zay.

Riley rolls her eyes at both of them, reaching into her pocket to find her subway card as we walk down into the station. Farkle and I do the same. As for Zay, he races ahead with his card already in hand.

Farkle has to put more money on his so we wait for him. I lean against the machine as he pushes the buttons. 

"Farkle wow please take longer that would be great" Zay says.

"Oh excuse me for wanting to do this right, it's not like you're royalty or something I'll take as long as I need" Farkle responds.

"You never know, he could be a prince in an alternate dimension" Riley laughs.

"She's right! That's possible! All hail Prince Zay!" he yells and runs through as we all swipe our cards.

"Yes all hail Prince Zay the Idiotic" I scoff.

My attention is drawn away from their banter as I catch sight of a pretty girl walking the opposite way across the room. She has her phone in one hand and is twirling a drumstick in the other. I watch as she glances at all the people walking past. She meets my gaze and the drumstick stops spinning for a second. I keep walking as she winks at me before starting to twirl it again and being lost in the people around her. 

Me, being the graceful human being I am, trip and fall in gay shock. Riley instantly rushes to my side to make sure I'm okay as Zay and Farkle snicker behind their hands.

"Stop laughing you jerks she could be hurt" Riley says as she helps me up.

"I'm fine don't worry" I say and put my hand on her shoulder in reassurance. She breathes out a sigh of relief before glaring at Farkle and Zay.

"I'm sorry but she just tripped over nothing and it was unexpected" Farkle says to defend himself as he steps onto the first step to get up to the platform. 

I look at Zay on the step above me on the escalator, awaiting his excuse.

"Well now that we've established Maya doesn't know how to walk properly-"

"Go fuck yourself-" 

"-I'm going to head over and catch my train" he continues and brushes over my remark.

"Maya" Riley scolds.

"He deserved it" I shrug.

"Whatever see you later man" Farkle says and both him and Riley wave as Zay runs to the other side of the platform. I wave him goodbye too since he knows I'm just joking around. 

"By the way what ever happened to Lucas?" I ask as the three of us get on our train.

"Honestly I don't know I think he was headed to his neighbors house or something to do yard work" Farkle says as he grabs onto the metal rail above him.

Yard work wow how exciting to do after the last day of exams. I would criticize him but he's probably making money for it. 

Riley and I sit down in the two closest seats to Farkle, the weirdo who insisted on standing despite the amount of available seats. Riley and Farkle are both distracted by their phones when I spot a group of four boys from our school get onto the train loudly right before the door closes.

I don't know any of their names I just know they're all popular jocks. There are two I recognize the most. One is a boy with sandy blonde hair who's instagram account I'm pretty sure I follow. He's one of those annoying student athletes with a bible verse at the end of his bio that if searched up, is obviously something he didn't even pay attention to when selecting. 

The other one is the captain of the baseball team. I glance at him and he smirks and nods in my direction when he sees me looking over. I roll my eyes at this. 

He has wavy brown hair that probably would've driven any other girl wild but not me. I focus back on the girl sitting in the seat next to mine. I only have eyes for one brunette.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay it honestly took me a while to finish this chapter cuz of school. I'll do the best I can to keep to my update schedule. Prepare for some real drama next update it's going to be eventful. Also I don't know if anyone else understands what I'm referring to at the end with the student athlete part but I'm including it anyway since so many boys at my school are that guy. Lowkey happy with this chapter even though the name could be a lot better not gonna lie. This is long does anyone read this like all of you are not much for commenting lmao. If you're still reading this I'm casually just recommending two songs: Feelings by Hayley Kiyoko and Clean by Taylor Swift


	9. party plans

Riley's POV

"Hey losers I'm in your apartment" Maya's familiar voice rings out from the doorway. 

"Is there any specific reason you're here and not at home?" I ask as I look over from the couch.

"Shhh Riley I want to watch my show" Auggie complains next to me. I ruffle the top of his hair and leave him on the couch with my dad. I close the front door and lean against it, facing Maya.

"Actually yes for once. Zay told me about a party he thinks we should go to tonight" she says excitedly. 

"I'm not really a party person you know this" I begin telling her as I usually do. 

"Not this excuse again! Come on it's probably one of the last huge ones of the year" she whines. 

I roll my eyes but she pouts her lip and looks at me pleadingly and I give in with a sigh.

"Damn you Maya" I say which earns a small smirk from her. She knows full well how easily I'll give in.

"Language" my mother warns from the table. 

"Alright mom I know. Can I please go to the party with Maya though?" I ask. 

"That depends. Who's throwing it?" she asks and I turn to Maya. 

"Some guy named Eli I think. I just know he's got a huge house" she replies.

"You're not exactly helping your case" Topanga says.

"Isn't that Charlie's Gardner's older brother?" I ask.

"I wouldn't know I've only seen him a few times in the halls" Maya shrugs.

"He's going to be a senior right?" Topanga looks to Maya who nods to confirm.

"I think he actually is Charlie's brother. Well at least it's not someone completely random" she sits back thinking.

"Please Mrs. Matthews you know we'll take care of each other there" Maya continues trying to convince her.

"Fine but Maya you better get her back before one, and no underage drinking"

"Yes I know the basic don'ts of high school parties, no drugs and everything. Neither of us would do it anyway. I promise we'll be back before one" she waves it off. 

"Keep her out of trouble Maya" my dad says.

"Oh please like I'm the one likely to get in any trouble" I scoff.

"I can hear you" Maya replies next to me.

I nudge her in the arm and we both thank my parents for letting us go on such short notice. My parents have actually gotten used to her last minute plan suggestions as we get further into high school. Some of us like Smackle haven't been as lucky. I'm pretty sure her parents won't let her go sadly.

"So what's this party going to be like? I haven't exactly got an outfit" I say as I go into my room and head to search my closet. 

"It's supposedly casual but I'll help you" she says and I let her go through my clothes as I settle on straightening my hair. 

When I finish and turn the flat iron off I see Maya has a smug grin on her face and both eyebrows raised. 

"What?" I say, confused. 

"Oh nothing"

"Well now you've got to tell me" I say.

"I was just thinking of that Tumblr post you showed me on the field trip" she says and examines her nails to act indifferent. 

I sigh and ask "Are you just going to have an endless supply of jokes now that I came out to you?"

"Yes, yes I am" she giggles. 

"Yeah I totally can't wait for those but what outfit did you pick out since we better leave if we want to get there by ten" I say trying not to laugh at her referencing that post.

"I've got this" Maya says as she holds up a white crop top and a light pink skirt. 

"How you manage to create such nice outfits out of the mess in my closet is astonishing" I tell her gratefully as I take them and leave to change in the bathroom. 

If the party is going to be casual I guess I could wear my white converse with this. I go back to my room to find them and walk in just as Maya finishes pulling a black tank top over her head. She turns around and sees me and nods approvingly. 

"You look cute. What shoes are you gonna go with?" 

"I was thinking white converse since you said it's not going to be all that fancy" I say.

"Sounds good, it'll go with the pink nicely"

"What about you? What are you wearing?" I ask as I sit down on my bed to untie the laces. 

"I'm going to end up being even more casual than you are since I only threw a few things in my bag before heading over here" she says. 

I watch her pull a red flannel out of her backpack and put it on over her tank top. She runs her hand through her hair slowly and goes back to look in her bag. 

Her full outfit consists of regular converse, skinny jeans, and a tank top with the flannel. I just sit and stare at her and how incredibly good she looks. Maybe it's just the side of me that likes girls but I've never someone effortlessly look that hot in a flannel. 

"Well don't just sit there Riles we've gotta get going" she says.

I probably look ridiculous staring at her and only snap out it when she raises her eyebrows and gestures to the door. 

"Sorry yeah let's go" I say, putting on my shoes hurriedly. 

"Bye mom! Bye dad!" I yell over my shoulder as we make our way to the door.

"Have fun girls, stay safe" my dad says as he stands up from the couch and stretches. 

"Riley it's late stop yelling Auggie needs to sleep!" my mom whispers harshly from the doorway to the hall. 

"Tell him I say goodnight" I say quietly and Maya and I head out. 

She gets a cab and we're off to the party. I hope no drama goes down tonight, that's the reason I don't do parties.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so this chapter is pretty boring sorry like it's more of a filler one because in the next update a ton is happening at the party


	10. teenage delirium

Maya's POV

It's only when I get out of the car do I really see how big the Gardner house is. 

"Woah" Riley says as she gets out and stands to my right. 

I can hear the music blasting from here. I see Riley go to pay the driver in my peripheral vision and grab her wrist lightly. 

"No it's on me, I'm the one who made you come" I say and hand the man the money before she can protest. He nods at us and drives off. 

"I could've paid for it you know" she says. 

"Yeah but I wanted to do it" I say as she pouts about it. 

Only Riley would be pouting about not having to pay for something. I walk up to the door on the path surrounded by an elegant garden. This place is bigger than Farkle's house which is saying a lot. Riley jogs up next to me and knocks on the door. 

A tall boy with brown hair that I recognize as Eli holds it open to greet us. 

"Hey Zay invited you two right?" he shouts in order to be heard over the noise of the party behind him. 

I wonder how he even heard the knock over all the commotion. 

"Yeah" Riley replies just as loudly. 

"Maya" he glances at me and smiles. 

"Hey, this is Riley by the way" I say. 

"Nice to meet you Riley. Zay is in the basement as far as I know. Charlie is out back. Parents are away for the weekend, so try not to trash the place although I doubt I need to worry about you two in particular" he says and motions us inside. 

He points out the basement door before running off to a group of guys nearby. 

"Well he was surprisingly polite" Riley says as she shuts the door behind us. 

"Don't get used to it" I say as I open the door to go downstairs. 

This is a high school party after all. If the guys here aren't drunk, then they're just naturally jerks. 

We walk down the steps and see Zay observing a game of ping pong that's going on. I spot Lucas, Farkle, and another guy talking on the couch. 

"Oh you made it!" Zay walks over happily.

"I see you managed to get Riley to come" he says with a nod of approval. 

"It's about time" Lucas says as he joins the conversation 

"You're acting like she's never come before, she just hasn't come to the last two" Farkle scoffs from the couch still talking to the random guy. 

"At least I'm dressed correctly" Riley says. 

It was casual like Zay said, most people were just dressed in everyday clothes with the exception of some girls we passed on the way down. They were wearing short dresses and were all hanging over some boys. I'm not really a partier in that sense, I don't see the point. 

"Lucas do you know if they have water or where it is?" Riley speaks up.

"It's probably in the kitchen, I can get it" he replies.

"No I'll get it, I'll be back" I interrupt and head off before he can try to do it himself. Gotta be quicker than that Friar. I watch his face turn into a frown as I walk up to the foot of the stairs and I don't even care how passive aggressive I might seem.

I reach the top of the steps and brace myself for the teenage chaos outside the door. 

I step onto the main floor, taking in the atmosphere around me as I search for the kitchen. A bunch of people are standing around with red solo cups in hand talking in a room off to my left. Normal enough. As I continue walking down the main hallway the music gets obnoxiously loud and I pass what I assume is the living room. A large mass of people are dancing, some clearly drunk out of their minds. 

I reach the end of the hallway passing by some scattered couples making out. I avoid them only to hear a low whistle from behind me. I spin on my heel and see a group of four guys all holding beers in their hands and laughing. I'm wearing the least revealing thing possible what is the matter with teenage boys. 

"Hey blondie wanna give me your number?" one of them with bleach blonde hair yells. 

Well he got straight to the point. 

I turn around to give a fake smile.

"How about no" I yell and flip them off as I continue to the kitchen in front of me. 

The nerve of some people. I find a water bottle as fast as I can, wanting to get back to my own friend group. I open the sliding glass door to the backyard, refusing to pass those boys again. 

The Gardner family apparently has more money than I presumed. A huge swimming pool takes up most of the patio and a bunch of guys and a few girls are playing beer pong nearby. I get back inside through the front door, which is thrown carelessly wide open, and back to the basement.

The boys have all moved on to watching some sports game on tv. I hand Riley the water with a smile and she thanks me as she sits down on the couch.

"So what's up?" she asks. She's the only one who's eyes aren't glued to the screen. 

I respond with "the ceiling" and sit down on the couch next to Zay. 

"Boo" Farkle says. 

"You suck" Lucas says without looking at me. 

"No she swallows" Zay says. Before I can process the immaturity of my friends Farkle speaks up. 

"Actually she-" I lean over Zay and slap my hand over his mouth before he can get another word out. 

I can tell he was about to make a comment giving away that I prefer girls. But he doesn't know that. I don't even know how to think about that. 

Zay just scoffs but I can tell he doesn't know what Farkle was implying. Thankfully no one cares enough to even pay attention to the meaning. Well except Riley who's seated on the floor and now looking curiously up at us. 

I give Farkle a death glare and he seems to get the message. He can't say things like that when I haven't even admitted anything to myself except that I think I like Riley. 

After a few minutes everyone decides to go and do their own thing. Farkle goes upstairs most likely to socialize and whispers an apology as he passes me. I assure him that we're good with short nod. I just think he doesn't know what to do with keeping such a big secret. 

"Well I'm going upstairs, maybe I'll manage to get someone's number this time" Zay announces. 

"Good luck with that" Lucas says as he pats him on the shoulder and walks up the stairs before Zay. That leaves Riley and I. 

"Guess we should follow them" she says after a few moments of silence. 

"How are things up there?" she asks as we ascend the stairs. I tell her what I saw and my experience with those boys. 

"Don't worry you'll be fine, just stay away from alcohol and start conversations. You've always been good at that" I say. 

A few minutes later I've lost sight of where Riley is. Maybe I should go look for her. A part of me wants to but the other knows she can handle herself. I continue talking to a few girls I know from class for half an hour or so. I'm not one to be dancing at these parties but I know I'll find Zay there so I decide to leave the conversation. 

I find him in the corner of the room across from the dance floor with less people. He's sitting on the couch talking to a girl. I start to leave to give him space but he spots me and gestures for me to come over. 

He introduces me to her and says he's going to get some drinks. I follow him and end up having a small drink of beer as well. We're both careful about our limits and don't do anything reckless but I can't say the same for Lucas. 

He walks in laughing and joking with that same group of boys I saw in the hallway an hour or so ago. A part of me worries about him for a second but it soon turns to disgust at the fact that he would hang around them. 

I recognize one of them now and he's definitely a well known jerk in our grade. I have a feeling this isn't ending well. To make matters even more complicated, Riley chooses to reappear.

She starts to walk over to Zay and I but Lucas and his buddies see her too. I watch them urge him on but I'm not sure what's happening. Then I realize, they want him to make a move. 

He walks up behind her and says her name. She visibly jumps in shock, not noticing him until now. He walks over and hugs her from behind. 

I didn't think my distaste towards him recently could get worse but now it's threatening to break the scale. I grit my teeth hoping he'll just leave. Zay is next to me watching with wide eyes, the girl he was trying to charm now forgotten. He knows it's unlike Lucas to be so careless with his alcohol.

I turn my attention back to them as Riley tries to kindly get away. 

"Lucas, you're way too drunk leave me alone" she says carefully. 

I can barely hear it over the music in the room next door.

"I'm fine Riley" he says with a laugh and leans down to quickly kiss the side of her neck. 

That's it I've officially lost it. This is not the Lucas I know. He can't do that to my girl. Riley pushes him away politely, clearly uncomfortable. 

"Lucas stop" she says trying to keep her voice steady. 

I stand up slowly, hands balled into fists. 

"Riley-" he starts but before he can say anything else I interrupt him. 

"She told you to stop" I growl, now standing in between him and Riley. 

Pure rage is clouding my brain and I'm not even drunk enough to be starting conflict. 

"Oh and what are you going to do about it Maya? Riley can make her own decisions you know, she doesn't need you" he snarls back at me, the words flowing off his tongue venomously. 

With nothing but pure adrenaline coursing through my veins I make up my mind. 

"This" I say before my fist collides with his face. 

Everyone around us in the room crowds to watch the drama but I barely notice. Lucas's group of newfound friends are watching everything unfold in awe. 

I feel Riley's hand on my shoulder trying to calm me down but it doesn't work. 

Lucas recovers from the blow only to stand up and punch me back. That's when Riley's grip intensifies. Apparently the drunk Lucas doesn't care about the whole not hitting a girl thing.

"Woah woah woah" Zay yells as he shoves his way between us. Lucas is glaring daggers at me but Zay prevents anyone from swinging again. 

He starts to say something but I don't hear it because the weight of what just happened comes crashing down on me. 

The thought of how Riley will react and how this will be the new gossip makes me sick to my stomach.

I ignore the throbbing of my lip and tear away from her grasp. I run upstairs with tears blurring my vision, fear and anxiety creeping into my skin. Too scared of what consequences I'll have to face due to my impulsivity to even look behind me.

"Maya!" I hear Riley call from the foot of the stairs but I'm already around the corner. 

I find a room with the door open and close it behind me, sliding my back down against it. This is all my fault. If only I hadn't listened to Zay about this stupid party. 

Plus I'm going to have to deal with the fact that this isn't just some random guy this is Lucas Friar. One of the people in my main friend group. The boy who I've known since 7th grade. Someone Riley's probably still interested in. 

I pull out my phone seeing that it's just past midnight. I've got an hour to get Riley home and I can't even face her. 

"Why can't I ever do anything right" I mumble aloud and bury my head in my knees. 

"Maya? Maya are you okay?" I hear Riley whisper outside the door. 

I didn't think she'd follow me after that mess. I take a deep breath and get to my feet. I guess it's best to get this nightmare over with. I get to my feet and hesitantly turn the handle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry to leave with a cliffhanger but here's one of my favorite chapters I've written. I don't have much to say but I'm assuming by the next time I post that movie Love Simon will be out and you better believe I'm gonna go watch it which is exciting and that's all, hope you enjoyed


	11. the aftermath

Riley's POV

"Maya" I repeat just as I hear her turn the doorknob. 

She stands in the doorway wiping her eye with the end of her sleeve. I glance around the hallway and step into the room. Closing the door behind me again I stand in front of Maya who's got her head hung in what I assume is shame. 

"Hey" I say quietly. 

"Hi" she says and forces a small smile. Her eyes are full of pain and her lip is slightly bleeding from the punch Lucas threw. 

I don't know how to forgive him for that. So much for no drama. I knew Lucas went to parties with Zay a lot but I didn't think he drank too often. I'm still taken back at how he actually made a physical move. The feeling of Lucas's lips on my neck, I don't know it just felt wrong somehow. That may have scared me but Maya's outburst caught my attention more. I don't think I've ever seen her so angry. 

My thoughts keep circulating until I remember why I came upstairs in the first place. 

"Maya your lip..." I say and step closer. 

"I'm fine Riles" she says and slides down against the door.

"You and I both know that's not true" I sit next to her.

"Shouldn't you be downstairs with Lucas? He got hit too" she asks trying to shut down the conversation.

There's no anger or spite in her voice only sadness.

"You really think I want to be down there right now? Maya I care about you more than I've ever cared about him" I say quietly. 

"Really? You don't hate me for starting that fight?" she finally makes eye contact, asking me incredulously. 

"Of course not, I could never hate you. You were trying to help me" I say and reach for her hand.

"Yeah well I couldn't bear to watch it" she replies. 

She lets me trace over her palm gently, and neither of us can come up with anything to say. 

"Peaches?"

"Yes"

"You really should get your lip cleaned up, it's kinda bad" I tell her and glance over at it.

"I guess you're right" she says and we both slowly get off the floor.

I open the door and she follows close behind until we find a bathroom at the other end of the hall. She pushes herself up onto the sink counter and I look for something to stop her lip from bleeding. 

I settle on taking one of the various washcloths hanging up and give it to her. With the amount of luxury towels around here I doubt anyone will care. 

"Here just put some pressure on it, you need to stop the bleeding."

"I'm not five I know what to do Riles" she says and puts it on her lip. 

"Obviously you don't since you aren't even pressing on it" I reply. I walk over to her and position her hand so it's lightly pressing the towel on the wound. 

She looks at me then looks down and raises her eyebrows slightly. It dawns on me that I'm standing very close to her. Right between her legs to be exact. 

I move back quickly almost tripping in the process. I silently curse myself for being so clumsy and look down so she can't see me failing at willing away the blush that's surely visible.

"I think it stopped bleeding" she says and I look up slightly to see her hop down and toss the towel away. 

I see her shoes come into view and she lifts my chin up. It does feel different when I'm not the one doing it but I'm not complaining. She puts her arms around my neck and looks at me. Then she's hugging me. It's unexpected but I'll take any excuse to be close to her.

"Hey Maya"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks for protecting me" I mumble against her shirt.

"Anytime" she whispers and places a soft kiss on my cheek before tightening her grip around me.

"Riley? Maya?"

I have to hold back a whine when Maya pulls away to look out the door. 

"Right here Farkle" she calls and he walks over to the bathroom. 

It doesn't take a genius to see he's uncomfortable from the way he's fumbling with his fingers. We never have many fights in our little group. If anyone has disagreements it fades away in no time, it's never gotten physical.

"I wanted to check on you. Both of you. Uh Lucas is still cooling down but Zay's making sure he doesn't drink any more than he already has and trying to calm him down" he says. 

"I'm okay, as much as I can be at least" I reply. 

"I'm not hurt too badly" Maya says and shows him her lip. 

"That's good it's not major. If there is anything I can do I will. Do you guys need a ride home?" I open my mouth to reply but Maya beats me to it. 

"Well Topanga is going to kill me if she's not home by one so yes" she says. 

She does have a point, I haven't even been keeping track of the time. 

"You aren't allowed to drive alone yet though" I say. 

"I know but there's gotta be someone who can" he points out.

"What about Amber I mean I saw her around right before I found Zay. She's a senior she's bound to have a car" Maya suggests. 

"Maya are you sure that's safe you barely even know her she's just in your art class" Farkle tells her. 

"I've had a few conversations with her, plus she owes me" she shrugs. 

"Alright fine lets look for her" he gives in.

I'm not in the same art class as her this year and I've only heard of Amber a few times. Before I can ask why Amber 'owes her' or talk Maya out of it she heads downstairs after Farkle. He ends up finding her hanging outside a few minutes later. 

"Amber" Maya calls out. I watch as a girl with dirty blonde hair turns around to face us. She's dressed in a band t-shirt, skinny jeans, and a leather jacket. Well no wonder Maya's friends with her, they've definitely got similar style. Not to mention she's the level of pretty that would get hundreds of notes on tumblr.

"Hey! Maya right?" she smiles brightly. 

"Yeah that's me, I was wondering if you could do me a favor. I've gotta get her home by one and we haven't really got a ride" Maya says and gestures to me. 

"How'd you get-"

"Taxi" Farkle interrupts. 

She nods quickly and pulls out her keys.

"You're sober right?" I ask. Better safe than sorry. 

"Yeah, no need to worry kid" she reassures with a laugh. 

"Thanks for your help Farkle" I say with a grateful smile, hugging him tightly.

"No problem, text me if you need anything. We'll sort this all out tomorrow" he says and waves. 

I jog back inside to catch up to Amber and Maya. 

"Still haven't touched any alcohol yet princess?" I hear a tall guy say as he staggers over to Amber.

"Tyler I already told you I'm not interested" she says tiredly and pushes him away from her. 

"Come on you weren't serious" he says and puts his arm around her shoulder. 

"Yes I was" she brushes his arm off and narrows her eyes. 

"But babe you must admit we'd be great together" he keeps insisting.

"Here I'll lay it out for you again in simpler terms. Amber? gay. Tyler? not getting laid tonight. Understand?" she says and smiles sarcastically before walking past him without a second thought.

We follow her outside, the sounds of the party fading. 

"You like girls?" I ask curiously, hoping I'm not overstepping a boundary. 

"Well yes, I mean have you seen them? Plus my girlfriend is better company than those idiots would ever be" she shakes her head and looks back at the porch. 

I would try to learn more since I've actually never met an out and proud lesbian but I'm struggling keep my eyes open. Maya is silent next to me as we walk to Amber's car, lost in thought. I guess she didn't know this yet. I open the door and slide into the backseat. Maya gets in next to me and closes the door quietly. 

"Neither of you want to ride shotgun?" Amber questions as she turns to face us from the drivers seat. 

After receiving no response she just puts her keys in the ignition and says "alright suit yourselves."

"Thank you for dropping everything to help get me home" I say with a yawn. 

"No problem" is the last thing I hear her say before I lean against the door and begin to fall asleep. It's been an exhausting night.

~~~

Maya's POV

I tell Amber how to get to Riley's apartment complex and as she pulls away from the house I allow myself to relax a little. I wasn't even aware she was gay, it's never come up but it's actually quite helpful information. 

Riley somehow took the Lucas incident better than I thought. The worst of it isn't over yet. I'm still going to have to face him and he's still going to apologize and try to win Riley back. 

I look over at her to see that she's fast asleep and leaning against the door. I smile to myself remembering how peaceful she looked that morning in the hotel. 

"You like her don't you" I hear Amber turn down the radio and say. 

"N-No?" She makes eye contact with me in the mirror. 

"Maya I can see it in your eyes, you've been staring at her with a dopey smile on your face for a few minutes now" she smirks. 

I didn't notice that it had been more than a few seconds like I thought. 

"Dammit" I whisper. 

"Hey you know it's alright if you do" she tells me. 

"I don't know how your gaydar is that accurate but I realized two weeks ago on our sophomore field trip" I say, my voice probably a little shaky.

I trust her, maybe she can even help me out. 

"Overnight?" she asks.

"Yeah, overnight. It was only the two of us assigned to the room" I reply.

"Oh man that must've been one hell of a trip for you. Only girls being allowed to room together, those teachers can be so clueless" she laughs.

"Her dad actually was one of our teacher chaperones" I say.

"You're joking. Which one?" 

"Matthews" I reply, smiling at how funny this situation really is.

"Oh Hart you just had to be crushing on Matthews' daughter of all people" she laughs.

"Oh please it's not like I can control it, we've been best friends since we were little kids. I just don't want to ruin it with my one sided feelings. You're experienced. What do you think?" I say. 

"Falling for your straight best friend? Classic trope, hear it all the time. To be honest only you can make the decision to act on your feelings. I know that's not an answer you'd want to hear but everyone's experience is different. I was sure of my sexuality by the start of freshman year. Went through a few painful crushes on straight girls until I found my girlfriend. I fully came out in the middle of my sophomore year. My parents were very accepting, thankfully. It gets better trust me" she says.

I decide against telling her that Riley had come out to me as bisexual. I don't want to get advice that makes me think I have a genuine chance when I don't. Whether or not my own parents would accept me wholeheartedly is a thought for another night.

"What about your girlfriend? Why wasn't she at the party?" I ask.

"Oh she insisted on catching up on sleep since she pulled so many all nighters during exam week" she shrugs.

"Definitely been there" I laugh.

We keep talking quietly about school and get to know each other more for the rest of the drive until she pulls into the spot next to Riley's apartment.

"Guess we're here. Thank you by the way. For dropping everything and helping us out despite barely knowing me. And for giving me advice on all this" I tell her. 

"My pleasure. The party was getting boring anyways. It was nice to talk to you more, I hope everything goes well with Riley. You've got my snapchat if you ever need to talk about anything" she says. 

I nod and shake Riley awake next to me. 

"Are we here?" she asks and looks around squinting at the car lights passing on the road.

"Yes, and I have 5 minutes until you have to be inside so you better get up fast" I say quietly.

I guess she got the message since she follows me out of the car onto the sidewalk. Amber gets out and Riley rubs her eyes before thanking her for everything. 

As Riley heads towards the steps Amber puts her hand on my shoulder and leans down. 

"You two would make a really cute couple, hope you get your girl Maya" she whispers.

I turn to her and she winks before getting back in her car. We both wave goodbye and open the front door with a minute to spare. 

"Maya..." Topanga starts to scold as she looks up from her papers.

"It's not one yet" I say before she can get another word out. 

I watch her frown as she checks the clock to see that I'm indeed on time. 

"Well okay thank you for being responsible" she sighs. 

"No problem" I say.

Riley offers a sleepy a goodbye and heads to her room. I politely thank Topanga for letting us go to the party and slip away to call an Uber to my own house. My mom hates how unsafe they are especially at night but it's better than walking. 

Once I'm laying down in my own bed I allow myself to relax a little. I can't believe it's actually that obvious that I like Riley. Maybe it's just because Amber has amazing gaydar and picks up on everything. Then again, if Farkle realized it easily it must be obvious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter name is so dramatic like it's not an extremely dramatic chapter lmao. I just came up with Amber as a small character cuz I felt like it honestly. Oh and I saw Love Simon over the weekend and it was the cutest movie I love it so much and it's such soft lgbtq+ content, 101% recommend. Next chapter is when Lucas has to face everyone and since I'm sick of this slow burn I'm going to throw in some real rilaya content soon


	12. stolen kisses

Maya's POV

None of us have talked since the party, nobody wanting to send the first text. I assume someone told Smackle about what we all got ourselves into. That means everyone has to acknowledge Lucas and what went down Friday night. 

As 10 a.m. hits the next morning my phone chimes with a text from Zay in the group chat. 

Isaiah The Idiotic: guys I'm not starting off summer vacation with this, all of us meet at Topanga's at 3 we're talking whether it's awkward or not

Well someone said it.

I take a deep breath before opening the door to Topangas. Smackle is ordering at the counter and I spot Zay and Riley talking at a table in the corner. She's tapping her fingers anxiously as I reach the two of them.

"What am I gonna say to him. He's going to be apologizing and I still don't know what to respond with" she turns to me, nervously rambling.

"Breathe Riles you're going to be alright, you can both find a way to handle it maturely okay" I try to reassure her.

Riley turns her head to the left and catches sight of Lucas and Farkle walking in. Lucas shoves his hands in his pockets and goes to stand next to us ducking his head slightly.

"I already talked everything over with Zay. I know I owe you both an explanation, especially you Riley" he says and lifts his head.

Now I'm able to see that he has a slight black eye forming. No wonder he's trying to hide from people. I should feel worse but it's not as awful as it could be. He meets my eyes first.

"Listen Maya I was way out of line. You were just trying to protect your best friend, I'm truly sorry for fighting back. Getting too drunk was my own reckless mistake that I have to take responsibility for and I'm sorry" he says and scratches the back of his head. 

I nod, a tiny bit of the anger I have towards him subsiding since he really did drink too much and that's why he fucked up. It must be a wreck to be on his side of things. 

"I'm sorry too, I let my anger get the best of me" I tell him.

I start to get sick of the absence of conversation with only Riley and Lucas staring at one another.

"We'll um let you two talk" I say and give Riley as reassuring of a smile as I can. 

"This is between them she'll be okay" I tell to myself as I grab Zay's arm and go to sit elsewhere with Farkle and Smackle not far behind.

The four of us just make small talk about the summer ahead while Riley and Lucas have their talk and after what feels like hours Riley comes over to us. 

"So what did he say?" I ask preparing myself for all the various outcomes. 

"He said he regrets it more than he's ever regretted anything. He feels really bad that he let himself drink so much. He apologized more times than I could count. I'm sure we're going to be alright" she responds shakily and sits down next to us.

"Well um that's good, I'm glad he was responsible about this" I say as the boy in question joins the group.

I think she's going to be okay, at least he owned up to it. I, for one, can't completely forgive him though. I've heard the saying that drunk actions are sober thoughts and regardless of how much I actually buy into that, he doesn't hide his feelings for Riley. He's not the one who has to and it's driving me insane.

"This is awkward, I'm getting a donut" Zay says and stands up. 

"Hey can you buy me a coffee?" Farkle asks, trying to clear the air.

"Absolutely not I'm not made of cash, get your own" Zay says and turns on his heel.

Their bickering makes everything feel refreshingly normal. All of us except Smackle, who already had a cookie, buy some food and we go back to the normal order of things.

Zay steals a piece of Farkle's croissant when he isn't looking, Lucas is playfully bragging about how many people he got to sign his yearbook by the end of finals, and Smackle is glaring at Farkle for teasing her about already starting her summer homework.

I'm sure everyone wants to brush this under the carpet and move on with their lives. And I couldn't agree more.

~~~

Riley's POV

"Did you just blue shell me?!?" Maya yells as she watches her character drop down to 4th place.

"Yep, sucks for you" I reply back smiling happily from 3rd. 

"Your success, as amusing as it is, will not last" she says determinedly.

"We'll see about that" I tell her and turn the corner for the final lap. She nudges me in the side and I almost crash into the wall. 

"Interference!" I yell and she just shrugs innocently. 

Suddenly my car is hit by a banana peel thrown by no other than Maya herself as she speeds by. 

"You can't just...I can't believe you!" I exclaim watching Maya pass me and somehow speed her way to first. 

"What's that? I can't hear you from the top of the board" she sing songs. 

"Now I'm in 5th" I reply bitterly. 

"Told you it wouldn't last sweetheart" she says, smirking, which only makes me more distracted and I end up finishing in 6th. 

"Fine, congratulations you've beaten me again" I say and roll my eyes when she stands up and bows. 

"You have to accept that Mario Kart just isn't your speciality Riles" she says.

"Girls?" Topanga's voice calls from the hallway.

"In the living room" Maya shouts back.

A fancy red dress clad Topanga walks over to us on the couch, fixing her hair.

"Ooh mom what's the occasion?"

"Your father and I are going out to dinner tonight. I told you last night but we'll be gone until maybe eleven. As you know, Auggie is over at Dewey's house and I trust you two can take care of each other" she says.

"Of course we can" Maya offers a lopsided grin and wraps an arm around my shoulder.

"Alright, Riley a big storm is supposed to roll in within the next two hours so Maya can sleep over if the weather is too bad" she tells us as Cory emerges and wraps his arm around her waist.

"Yeah the weather is supposed to be horrible you should stay inside, especially you Ms. Hart" he says and makes an 'I'm watching you' gesture.

She only offers an exaggerated thumbs up as we watch my parents grab umbrellas and wave until they're out the door.

"So how about a movie and popcorn" Maya excitedly leaps up.

"Sounds good but you're making the popcorn" I respond as I unplug the game controllers.

She complains enough that we settle on a game of Rock Paper Scissors for it and I lose, as usual. She runs off to my room while I put the bag in the microwave and wait.

Within an hour we're halfway through the Disney movie that I picked out. Maya has jokingly scoffed her way through most of it but she played a horror movie when she got to choose last time.

"This is such a cheesy scene" she says under her breath.

It obviously wasn't as quiet as she expected because I hear it and throw a popcorn kernel at her.

"What was that for"

"This is a great scene don't mock Disney. Cheesy can be nice" I reply.

"You're such a dork" she looks at me.

"Yes but I'm your dork so you have to put up with it" I say and turn to meet her gaze.

"I wouldn't want it any other way" she says with a laugh and moves away from her spot by the headboard of my bed.

She puts her head in my lap instead, and as if the current physical contact wasn't enough, she grabs my hand and tugs it closer to her keeping hold of it. I tilt my head downwards but her attention is still focused on the movie, smiling softly at the actors onscreen who I know she isn't truly watching. And with her face softly illuminated in the darkness by the light of the laptop screen accompanied by the faint clangs of raindrops on the fire escape outside, I know that I've fallen completely in love with this girl. 

A large crack of thunder outside breaks me out of the little daydream state I'm in. Maya jolts up out of my lap enough to the point where she falls off the bed's edge where we were sitting. I wanted the moment to last but at this point I can't help laughing at Maya who's cursing at the thunder for her fall. I turn on a lamp and see her sitting on the floor.

"Stop laughing you jerk" she says bitterly while rubbing the side of her head.

"Well it's not my fault you're afraid of a little thunder peaches"

"I'm not afraid of thunder it just took me by surprise" she stands up carefully.

"Uh huh sure" I say and put one of the pillows she knocked down back in place before leaning forward to pause the movie.

A pillow suddenly hits me right in the face and I can see Maya giggling standing next to the bed.

"Oh so that's how this is going to go, alright then take this" I throw a pillow directly at her but she ducks and dodges it.

"You need much better aim if you want to win, if I were you I wouldn't try me Riles" she taunts, a dangerous glint in her eyes.

"I have great aim! I only missed because you ducked!" I reply and hop off the bed to hit her in the side with another pillow.

"You and I both know that's a lie" is all I hear before all hell breaks loose and we're both using whatever pillows we can grab to hit each other.

She's pummeled me enough that I'm kneeling on my bed trying to combat the ridiculous amount of arm strength she has.

Within seconds I've fallen backwards on the bed and Maya sees this as an opportunity to get ahead.

"Okay okay I give up! Stop the violence!" I put my arms in front of my face drying to deflect her blows.

A devilish smirk plays at the corner of her lips as she pulls the pillow away.

"I told you not to test me Matthews" she says.

"Yeah we all know you're awful when it comes to tests" I tease her.

She just rolls her eyes and tries to fix her, now messy, blonde hair.

Being so preoccupied by defending myself I failed to realize the fact that Maya is literally laying on top of me. She's propped up with her elbows on either side of me and our faces are mere inches apart.

I watch Maya as her eyes flicker down to mine and widen, seemingly noticing our position for the first time too. She's blushing hard and I can feel the nervous tension radiating from both of us.

It seems like the world is holding its breath with me because she's not making any effort to move away. The only sound I can hear is my own heart hammering away at my ribcage and I'm getting hopelessly lost in the beautiful blue of her eyes.

And before I can even attempt to utter a single word her lips are on mine. My brain goes into overdrive trying to process the feeling. Everything is so gentle and slow and her lips are just as soft as I imagined. It doesn't feel like anything I've ever felt before, and yet the sensation is familiar enough to feel like it's all I've ever known.

I'm barely able to kiss her back like I desperately want to when she pulls away quickly.

"Oh god I'm sorry I didn't mean- I wasn't trying to-" she says visibly panicking.

She hops off the bed faster than I've ever seen her move and almost trips trying to grab her shoes.

I mange to snap myself out of being completely frozen enough call out her name. I only receive faint rumbles of thunder in response. She's already thrown open the window and fled into the night, leaving me with an abundance of unanswered questions and a slight taste of honey on my lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter has so many words but I've wanted to write their first kiss for FOREVER so I hope it's alright. Thought I should write something lengthy anyway since I've been gone a month sorry about that, April has just been extra busy for me. I hope next update won't take that long but I had to be dramatic at the end of this chapter. Any comments are appreciated I hope everyone enjoyed!


	13. rooftops and rebels

Maya's POV

Usually you couldn't force me out of that room if Riley's there but now I've never wanted to leave it so fast. 

With every step away from her building a new pang of guilt resonates in my soul. I didn't want to leave her alone like that but I couldn't be there. I couldn't see her face once the shock was replaced with something like disapproval or pity. Something that would break me.

My hair is getting soaked and one of my shoelaces is untied but I can't stop running.

I kissed Riley Matthews. I just screwed up the best thing in my life, the one constant I can always count on. 

I force myself to stop under a store awning and breathe. Tears threaten to spill over once I let myself think about what it felt like. Of course it was everything I've ever wanted but when my brain decided to work again panic and fear took over. 

My first kiss was barely long enough for me to remember it and I'll be lucky if she'll even want me around after screwing up that badly. I can't go back and live with the rejection and awkwardness that'll surely drive us apart.

I sit on the pavement and wait for the rain's intensity to subside. The memory of that night on the balcony with Riley wants to resurface but I push it back into the depths of my mind. 

I desperately try to will the tears away and divert my attention from everything Riley related. I stare at the blurred city lights in the distance. I'm on some random side street since I had just let the night take me anywhere away from the Matthews' apartment in that moment. 

As soon as the droplets change to a manageable drizzle I start to walk again. Most of the stores on the street are closed which is understandable since somehow its half an hour past midnight. As I pass the only open business, a bar on the street corner, the streets become more familiar. I've wandered far enough back to the rougher neighborhood where I used to live. 

I haven't given much thought to the friends I used to have here before moving away in years. Well other than when Carla and Renee crossed paths with me in that park early freshman year but it was brief.

I decide to head to a certain alleyway by the tattoo parlor I assume still exists a few blocks away. The only other member of our old little group of misfits who didn't accompany Carla and Renee that day was a boy named Felix. 

The thought of that name brings back history. He was the most rebellious, the risk taker. There are little things like how he always wore a chain with a small crescent moon, a gift from his mom before she died in car accident when we was young that are coming back now. It was a reminder of her even when his father became increasingly distant after the loss. Felix used to spend every second he could outside with us, unless the weather discouraged it, to avoid facing the constant quiet and loneliness at home. We used to be close.

I reach the secluded alley, for some reason it was his favorite spot to hang out in when we were kids. I walk a few feet in to look around, not expecting to see anything very interesting. It's mainly trash and burnt cigarettes with scattered glass as expected.

"Hart?" 

I jump backwards at the sound of a voice breaking the unusual silence of the night.

My eyes travel from the ground around me and then up and sure enough I can make out the hazy silhouette of Felix himself sitting on the edge on the roof in the light from the streetlight.

"Jesus give a girl a warning would you? You almost gave me a heart attack?" I reply back. 

"Sorry, didn't mean to freak you out. Maya Hart. Huh I never thought I'd say that name again. We really gotta catch up, you wanna come on up here?" he yells down. 

I wince at his loudness but that's one thing that apparently hasn't changed. 

"Sure why not"

Against my better judgment I sigh and grip the slippery rungs of a nearby metal ladder to climb up to meet him, I mean I have nothing better to do. My parents probably think I'm over at Riley's because of the storm. 

The moonlight is bright up here now that clouds have cleared out more and I can see him better. We both just stare at one another. He isn't any different than what I remember other than that his previously scruffy black hair is now shorter and seemingly well maintained. He still wears an earring in one ear and I can see the familiar silver chain around his neck. He hasn't lost his trademark smirk when he extends his hand to me. I shake it cautiously as he walks over to the far side of the roof. I pray that I won't immediately regret coming up here and take a deep breath as he leaves me by the edge.

"Hey babe can you and Renee get over here we have company" he says, keeping an eye on me.

I don't find him that dangerous, but as Carla and Renee emerge from the darkness talking quietly about something I keep my guard up.

He puts his arm around Carla and I easily can piece together that they're dating, which is understandable at this point. I was always the closest with Carla and then him and then Renee. She's seemed to take a liking to him from the start.

They're both visibly shocked to see me again and to be honest I never planned on seeing any of them again or for them to even be here so I'm equally as stunned. They haven't changed since I saw them freshman year, Renee has grown a bit taller but nothing new. 

"Well well well, It's been a while Hart. Didn't think I'd be seeing that blonde hair ever again anytime soon" Carla laughs, she's friendly and doesn't seem to care about our last encounter for some reason. Maybe she's choosing to ignore it.

Felix motions for me to sit down in their little circle near the edge of the rooftop. 

"Yeah, uh how are things?" I ask as I follow his lead.

"Decent I guess" he says and proceeds to light a blunt he produces from his pocket.

Renee rolls her eyes while Carla shoves him, glaring as he just shrugs.

"All of us are much better off than when were little and you last saw us at least" Carla replies when looking back at me.

"What about you? You gotten any softer than last time we talked?" Renee asks half jokingly.

"No?" I say, trying to avoid the lingering tension from that encounter.

"How about Dorothy? You still friends with her?" she continues as Felix blows the smoke at an annoyed Carla.

And I don't know what compels me to tell them the truth, but Riley has come up like she always does.

"After the mess I just made I can only hope I still will be" I sigh.

They look at me blankly urging me to elaborate.

"I like her, I have for years, I haven't told her that, and I just fucked myself over by kissing her tonight and bolting without explaining myself" I say quickly.

I judge their reactions closely to my confession that feels terrifying to say out loud. 

Renee just looks a bit surprised at the news. She wasn't expecting it. Hell, neither was I. Carla's face however immediately breaks into a grin.

"Felix pay the hell up you owe me ten bucks I told you Hart was going to be into girls" she laughs as she holds her hand out.

Felix puts out his blunt and pulls ten dollars from his pocket to give her, grumbling about the bet being from forever ago.

"You two made a bet on that?" I ask incredulously. 

I can't believe the people i haven't spent time with in literal years picked up on this before I did. 

"Yeah and I won" Carla waves the money in the air smugly.

"I can't believe this" I roll my eyes.

"Okay who cares about that stupid bet when you just booked it instead of talking to the girl you're into" Felix says.

"Yeah for once this idiot has a point" Renee says.

"You should talk to her Maya, if not her then someone else you trust in your life first. It could go better than you think" Carla says.

My mind immediately goes to Farkle. He's the best person to trust with this.

"I think I have someone in mind" I reply.

"Then what the hell are you doing up here with us you have some explaining to do" Felix stands up.

"Yeah it's been nice seeing you again Hart but you've got some shit to fix" Renee follows.

"We're all good, you go back home and you make sure things with her are good too. Then maybe we'll reconnect again someday" Carla says as she pulls me to my feet. 

"Yeah. You know what yeah okay" I reply. 

I needed their encouragement and I now need to go talk to Farkle later.

I thank them all and head back down the ladder, anxious but determined to get home.

~~~

Once I get back home and sneak in as discreetly as I can, the scene keeps playing in my mind over and over. The confidence I had on that rooftop is already fading and I keep reminding myself that Lucas is who makes her happy. Lucas is the one who she wants. Not me.

I sigh and bury my face in my pillow, wishing it was that easy to bury my feelings. 

At some point I must've fallen asleep because the next time I open my eyes there's sunlight streaming into all corners of my bedroom. It's around noon and I really don't care enough to go and do anything with anyone. 

I check my phone, seeing a bunch of texts and a few calls from Riley. There's also a few meaningless texts from our group chat. I toss my phone onto some books nearby, already knowing what most of the messages are and not ready to read any of them. 

I make myself some coffee and toast, seeing a note from Shawn that he went shopping. Mom told me yesterday that she was meeting with a friend from college she recently found again today so the house is empty. 

I shower and change into everyday clothes and try to find the strength to text Farkle and meet up with him.

When I finally force myself to stop moping around and text Farkle that I need to talk to him, Shawn has returned. Farkle texts back to meet him at his house. 

Shawn tries to ask me how I'm doing but can tell I'm not fully there with him in the conversation. He reluctantly lets me go when I tell him I'm heading to Farkle's house for a while. I apologize and give him a hug but I know I need to get this confession over with in order to get some solid advice on what to do. I do trust Farkle but I'm still hesitant when I reach his front door, worried that this will ruin everything even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I had the idea to bring back minor characters that had literally one scene and create my own original character and give them a role in this story? I don't even know what this chapter is but I thought why not so we're just gonna go with it. Also I like the idea of Maya confiding in Farkle so that's coming up next. I'm done with school and off for break in a week so I'll be able to write way more and maybe update a bit more often


	14. it’s always been you

Maya's POV

"Hey Farkle" I mumble when a visibly sleep deprived Farkle answers his front door.

"Hey, come on in" he says tiredly.

"Were you seriously asleep" I ask, noticing the disheveled state his hair is in.

"Well until you texted yeah I was" he replies with a yawn, as we navigate through the maze of hallways to get to his bedroom.

I stop to look at him with a look questioning why he slept in so late.

"I was texting Smackle until one and then couldn't sleep until four" he shrugs.

I follow him into his room and sit down in a chair near the windows.

"What reason do you have for waking up at noon?" he asks as he grabs two sprites from a mini fridge, a new addition to his room.

"How do you know I didn't wake up earlier" I say as he tosses a can to me and sits down in the chair beside me.

"Because I know you" he says confidently.

"Yeah whatever"

"So what is your excuse for staying up late enough to wake up mid-afternoon?" he continues.

"It's uh actually the reason I asked to talk with you" I rub the back of my neck nervously.

"I'm listening, you can tell me anything" he says quietly.

"I kinda sorta maybe kissed Riley last night and I don't know how to ever face her again" I reply quickly.

"Oh thank god it's about time" he says casually as his face breaks into a grin.

"Wait you're not at all shocked? You expected this?" I say, genuinely confused.

"Yeah Maya you two are the worst at being secretive. Lucas, Zay, even Smackle we've been waiting for this ship to sail forever."

"But Lucas dated Riley, he's still into her" I point out.

"Doesn't mean he's blind to what's happening right in front of him"  

"How can you possibly be convinced that there's something real between us, I'm just hopelessly into her. End of story" I tell him.

Riley doesn't feel the same way she's just overly friendly, we're close friends there's no feelings on her side of this there can't be.

"Best friends don't just look at each other the way you two do." 

"Oh I see what the problem is here, you're delusional" I roll my eyes and look up at the space decals on his ceiling.

"Here let me elaborate. You know that vine 'two bros chillin in a hot tub five feet apart cuz they're not gay'?" 

"Yeah?" I raise my eyebrow and look back at him wondering how that could possibly be relevant.

"You two are the polar opposite of that vine and I wouldn't be surprised if the whole grade could see the tension there" he says.

"Are you really using a vine to explain this to me Minkus?" 

"Well how else are you going to realize how terrible you are at the concept of subtlety?" he says.

"I'm not that obvious about it" I reply, halfheartedly trying to be defensive.

"Congratulations Maya you take the grand prize for the least believable lie I've heard all year" he slow claps.

"C'mon this is serious Farkle, just tell me how you already pieced everything together that day of the field trip" I reply pleadingly.

"Oh I've always known"

He pauses to take a sip of his sprite nonchalantly.

"That's not possible I only realized that I like her mere weeks ago, I didn't even tell you I liked girls even though somehow you seemed to figure it out" I reply.

"Oh it's possible. You've been watching her in class all stupid and dreamingly for years. You look at her like she's the physical embodiment of light and happiness and you're always biting your lip and if that's not love then-"

"Alright alright that's enough" I say.

"Oh you're totally blushing now, see I was right as usual" he points at my face with a hint of a smirk.

I swat at his arm but I know he speaks the truth. 

"Great now that you've called me out on being a wreck will you please give me good advice that I specifically came to you for" I sigh and try to save myself from further embarrassment.

"You're not going to like it but the best thing you can do is talk about everything that went down with her" he replies with a sympathetic shrug.

"That's what I was afraid you'd say" I say as I play with the hem of my shirt, already anxious.

"There's not a 100% chance of it ending badly you know. She could take it way better than you expect. Talk to her okay, and real soon because I'm sure you've avoided any contact with her out of fear of rejection. She's probably worried at this point. Just be you Maya, no one else can and you're important to her" he puts a hand on my shoulder and stands up.

"I guess you're right" I say slowly.

He offers me a hand up and I take it, engulfing him in a sincere hug.

"Thank you Farkle"

"Anytime" he says.

~~~

After getting back to my room at home I keep telling myself I need to go over to Riley's but instead watch as the hours tick by. Farkle is absolutely right that I need to talk this through and I'm eternally grateful with how gracefully he handled the way I poured all my feelings out to him. His advice is what I needed but I can't find the courage to follow through with it. I know deep down that she won't just leave me in the dust and stop being friends with me but that doesn't mean she won't change. She'd stop being as touchy to spare my feelings and the thought of that only adds to the pain and guilt my heart feels.

I pick up my phone hesitantly and scroll back through my notifications to the calls and texts from Riley.

Nine missed calls and twelve texts from her most from last night some from this morning.

The words start to become a blur halfway through the fifth notification preview of her messages because it shows how genuinely confused and worried about me being unresponsive she is. I wipe away the tears furiously and shakily put the phone down.

I hear footsteps approach the door and the handle turning to no avail. 

"Babygirl I know you're sulking about something you won't tell me but please unlock your door at least. We're ordering pizza and Shawn found a movie he really wants to see, you're welcome to join us" Katy's muffled voice sounds from the hallway.

"Thanks mom I'll think about it" I call back knowing full well that I don't care enough to unlock the door and won't go join them just yet.

"Alright I hope you know I'm here and you can talk to me if you need someone to talk to you" she offers.

"I do, thank you for the support" I reply, cringing at my own word choice and making a mental note to apologize to her and Shawn after I confront the Riley situation.

I listen to her footsteps fade and the faint noises of Shawn washing dishes in the kitchen.

I grab my laptop and put on Netflix to once again avoid dealing with my feelings. 

Everything was fine for an hour, I watched a dorky teen drama and immersed myself in the overdramatic plot lines until I hear footsteps outside my door again.

I turn my volume down but ignore them assuming it's my mom here to ask me to come out of my room again but the subsequent knock isn't accompanied by her voice. 

"Peaches?" 

I freeze. It's Riley's voice. Oh no. Oh no no no she came to my house. I close my laptop as quietly as possible.

"Maya I know you're in there, your mom let me in"

Of course she did. I love my mom but she's clueless to what's going on and now things are going to get worse. I did refuse to tell her so she probably assumed this was just Riley coming over to comfort me.

"I'm not here you can't prove anything" I mumble.

"I know you're here, can we just talk? You wouldn't respond to my texts or answer my calls I had no other way to reach you other than showing up like this" she says as I hear her try the door handle.

There's an audible sigh as she says "please just open this door"

"No" I say apprehensively.

I want to talk to her I want to get this over with but seeing her face again is going to make everything harder.

"You have to let me in" she says in response.

"Go away" my voice cracks as I try to hold back all the emotions flooding in past the walls I'm desperately trying to keep up.

"Not until you talk to me" she says more loudly.

I know I'm being cowardly and selfish but I can't stop myself from trying to get her to just turn around and go back to her own home. I'm not ready for everything to come crumbling down and start to change.

"Just leave me alone Riley" I match her volume as I turn away from the door. 

"Open the door!" her voice rises.

"No!" I yell right back.

"Ring power" 

Dammit. I look down at the ring on my finger and know I have to go over and open that stupid door.

I drag my feet over to the only thing separating the two of us and unlock it.

She must hear it because she turns the handle immediately and as she takes a step into my room it starts to become way too real. 

I take a few steps backwards as she closes the door behind her. Her eyes look tired but they still carry the familiar little sparkle she always has in them.

"I'm sorry" I say weakly.

"It's alright I knew you'd open the door eventually" she says.

"Not for that for kissing you" I cut her off quickly.

"You don't have to be, but now I ask you again, can we please just address that?"

"I don't really want to" I say.

"We have to, why can't we just talk about this?" she asks as she moves to stand in front of me.

"Because!" 

"Because what Maya!"

"Because...because I think I'm"

I pause, terrified and trying to collect my thoughts. It's now or never.

She's looking at me in anticipation, no doubt trying to read my emotions and why I'm acting like this.

With trembling hands I swallow my pride and finally admit it.

"I think I'm love with you"

The blank expression she has only makes my nerves worse as I start rambling with the confession up in the air now.

"And I'm so sorry, I know your heart belongs to Lucas and I know he's the one you want to be with and we're just friends and-"

Then for the second time in the last insane twenty-four hours our lips meet.

She puts her hands on my waist and gently pulls me in closer. I settle on closing my eyes and loosely wrapping my arms around her neck, losing myself in the feeling of properly kissing her.

Her lips are soft and taste like strawberries and summer and it's quite literally intoxicating. My brain can't process any coherent thoughts about Lucas or how she feels about me, only the fact that holy shit I'm kissing Riley Matthews and she's kissing me back.

She pulls away shyly, blushing hard. I can't help the smile that finds it's way to my lips when she doesn't attempt to put any space between us afterwards.

"It's you who have my heart Maya, it's always been you" she whispers softly, running her thumb over my cheekbone gently.

Now we're both definitely blushing. I look away from her eyes, gaze lingering on her lips before glancing back into those bright brown eyes.

"C-can we do that again?" 

She nods happily and just like that I'm back to tangling my hands in her hair and losing every one of my senses to the feeling of how right it feels to kiss her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was hoping to post this over the weekend but some stuff came up so I had to finish writing today. Anyway it's currently the 5th day of pride month and I'm so happy to post this chapter now because I've been planning to write it forever and finally all the angst is over. Happy pride month to everyone, no matter what sexuality or gender you are, whether you're able to be out or not, you're valid and this month is for all of us


	15. how you get the girl

Riley's POV

I pull away from Maya breathlessly, smiling softly as I lean my forehead against hers.

Her eyes flutter open slowly, a bright and unfamiliar gleam swirling within the blue irises.

"Please tell me this isn't a dream" she whispers, her eyes widening.

"It's real peaches, you're not dreaming" I reassure her happily.

She pauses and reaches for my hand to pull me over to her bed.

So I cross my legs and sit across from her, waiting patiently for her to say something. I keep a hold of her hand as she takes a breath and stares at me.

"Okay so you like me? This is real? It's not one sided?" she asks with pure shock written over all her features.

"Yes I do, I have for a while" I reply timidly.

Her eyes dart around the room; left, right, anywhere but at me.

I know this is overwhelming to process for her. Quite frankly I don't know how I'm not hyperventilating right now. I think the wave of happiness that washed over me after finding the courage to kiss her properly has somehow instilled some sense of calmness.

She runs a hand through her hair tentatively and glances down at the bedsheets. If I didn't know her better I'd think she was having second thoughts about all of this but I can see the curve of the faint smile she's awful at concealing. I lift her chin up gently and she moves closer to me.

"It's always been hard to resist kissing you when you do that know" she laughs.

"Yeah it wasn't intentional, I never really realized how flirty it can seem" I tell her truthfully.

The awkward tension between us starts to fade a bit, much to my relief.

"I owe you an explanation Riles. I don't really know how to say all this, you know I'm bad with words. I'm sorry for racing out after, you know, kissing you because I regretted doing so more than anything. I was just scared because I only realized how truly non platonic my love for you was back around the field trip. I didn't think there was ever a possibility that you'd feel the same way and the last thing I wanted was for everything to change. I was worried you'd stop wanting to be close and affectionate with me and I couldn't bear to think about a reality like that. The more I think about us over the years, the more I can see that my feelings started blurring the lines between friendship and falling for you ages ago. I've always assumed that everything between us has been the same as we were seven. Back when falling asleep in your bed every time I slept over had no meaning and was innocent or normal because we were young. That is, until I caught myself fighting so hard to resist kissing you a bunch of times and being spiteful towards Lucas out of unidentified jealousy. Apparently I'm just really blind and now I'm rambling as usual" she finishes with a sigh. 

I squeeze her hand gently.

"I meant what I said when I said it's always been you, since the day we met there's been a bond between us that's stronger than anything I've ever experienced. I didn't understand until much later that the fluttery feeling that spread throughout my body whenever I heard you tap on the bay window was love. I spent most of my life thinking I needed a strong handsome boy like Lucas by my side to find true happiness but the only person who's ever made me feel like that has been right in front of me the whole time. There's reasons why him and I don't work Maya, he's a good guy but I've never felt a genuine spark between us. We've always said we'd be forever but I really do intend to spend my whole life with you. You'll always be my extraordinary relationship, and I know that's a lot to say but I can't imagine myself with anyone else" I say as I finally allow myself to admit what I've been holding in for months.

Her eyes are brimming with unshed tears but she cracks a smile when asking "you really think that about us?"

"Of course I do how could I n—"

She cuts me off by leaning over and pressing her lips against mine for a few seconds. I smile into the kiss, wondering why the universe deemed me lucky enough to have her like me back.

"Was that to get even because I interrupted you earlier?"

"No it's because you're being so sappy and I couldn't hold back" she grins.

I just stare at her like some lovestruck fool until she speaks up again.

"I'm over this awkward bullshit just come hug me" she laughs.

And I do exactly that. I crawl over to her lap and wrap my arms around her and I can't remember the last time my heart has felt this full. 

She holds me tightly and we stay like this in comfortable silence, I spend the time collecting my thoughts and I assume she does the same. 

"Hey Maya"

"Hmm"

"Can I stay over?" 

"Of course honey"

I lift my head up from her shoulder in order to study the details of her face, still stunned that I got this lucky considering all the other ways this could have gone tonight.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asks.

I smile shyly. "Because you're the most beautiful person I know"

"Stop flirting" she says with a weak scoff, wrapping her arms behind my neck.

"I've been doing it for a while now, I don't plan to stop" I say determinedly.

"Yeah about that, Farkle knows" she says as she brushes a few stray strands of hair behind my ear gently. 

"He does?"

"I kinda went to him for advice on kissing you and spilled everything earlier today because I didn't know what else to do and I was going insane" she confesses.

"Well how did he react" I raise an eyebrow. 

I'm curious as to how he handled that type of news. He may be a genius in school but as smart as that boy is I've never considered him a relationship advice expert.

"I mean he made it clear to me that he suspected it on the field trip that's the reason I trusted him already. He said that he noticed something more between us years ago, before we even knew it ourselves. He wasn't surprised at all honestly. Apparently we're very obvious" she replies.

"I guess neither of us really realized how our interactions could be seen by everyone else. But I have no clue how he picked up on there being more between us when I never even considered that it could be more than just best friend behavior until much later on. I didn't know how you felt, I only knew how I felt about you and was just hoping you wouldn't notice" I say.

"I was hoping you wouldn't notice the entire night in the hotel" she says shyly.

"Well luckily for you I was completely oblivious" I shake my head slightly at my own cluelessness.

"Wait even when you were singing that stupid Taylor Swift song you didn't see me losing my mind because of how cute it was?"

"No?"

"Wow you really are oblivious Riles. Even I knew that my guard was down and I wasn't trying that hard to hide how I was feeling then"

"So what I'm hearing is I can play more Taylor Swift songs" 

"That is absolutely not what I'm saying but I promise I'll try harder to tolerate your music taste" she giggles.

I stick my tongue out at her jokingly as she runs her fingers through my hair gently.

"So what does all does this mean? What does it make us?" I can hear the nervous anticipation in her voice as if she's scared that this is all too good to be true.

I fiddle with the hem of her shirt before diverting my attention back to the question and making eye contact.

"I hope it makes you my girlfriend...would you want that?" I ask.

Her face breaks into a wild grin and she pulls me even closer to her saying, "yes, yes more than anything else in the world"

I exhale the breath I'd been holding in, relieved that she actually said yes.

"Are you sure we aren't moving too fast?" I ask her, worry quickly creeping into my mind.

"It's felt like we've been more than just friends for a while, all this is doing is confirming it. None of this is too fast for me, especially if it means I get to kiss you whenever I want" she smirks.

I feel my cheeks heat up, forgetting how to breathe when realizing that Maya Hart really is my girlfriend and that I won't have to hold back from kissing her ever again.

There's a ping from Maya's phone and she reaches to grab it, taking the opportunity to push her laptop onto the bedside table.

I can see that she has a bunch of texts but she doesn't seem to care.

"It's just Farkle wondering if I'm feeling alright" she says, sliding her phone on top of her laptop.

"Shouldn't you let him know that everything is okay?" I ask. 

"I'll reply to everything in the morning"

"Maya it's one, it's already morning"

"You know what I mean, plus we're supposed to be hanging at Zay's tomorrow so he'll see me then. Even if none of them except Farkle have heard from me in a day I'm still showing up whether he expects me to or not" she shrugs. 

"Are you going to explain everything to him tomorrow then?"

"Do you want me to? I don't have to at all if you aren't ready, we can give this some time" she says, placing her hands on my hips gently.

"I'm ready, I'm not that scared to tell him or our friends I know they'll accept it. I'm also not sure how well I'll be able to hide us from them now" I reply confidently.

"You know what, screw it I'm ready too. I'm not about to hold back and pretend that I'm not in love with you anymore because I've tried and it's exhausting" 

"Fine but you're starting the conversation because you made the first move" I yawn.

"I did not, you've flirted with me for longer" she replies.

"It wasn't flirting if I didn't realize what I was doing until we got older. You can't act like you don't like it, I know you do" I say.

"Uh yes it was and I didn't like it that much, I've just never been able to ignore you"

"You're a terrible liar Maya"

"Shut up" she mumbles, kissing me hard until we're both smiling too much to continue.

The rest of the night is full of hushed voices and soft touches. My sleep deprived brain can only retain certain flashes of our interactions. The two of us continuing pointless conversations just to hear the others voice for a little longer. Maya putting on slow music and twirling me around on the hardwood floors illuminated solely by the moonlight. The curve of her smile when she buries her face in my neck when we finally try to sleep. The most vivid one being her whispering an 'I love you' before snuggling into my chest and drifting off to sleep. And in that moment I know that I never want to let her go no matter what the world might throw our way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally haven't updated since the start of June and it's nearing the end of July yikes. Sorry for the wait, I've been busy with summer homework and writers block made it difficult for me to get this chapter to a place where I didn't want to reword it every time I read it over. Thankfully it seems to have turned out well. I promise it won't take nearly as long until next update but for now I leave you with the fact that Happily and Loved You First by One Direction fit Rilaya and I've listened to them way too much while writing.


	16. confessions and complete fools

Riley's POV

I wake up to the sound of Maya talking to someone, presumably on the phone.

I sit up and blink the drowsiness away and see her sitting by the edge of the bed on her phone.

"For the last time we'll be at Zay's today you can bombard me with your questions then"

There's a pause before she starts talking again.

"Oh yeah Riley slept over last night"

Another pause.

"No Farkle nothing happened—I don't care if you don't believe me I'm not arguing with you until this afternoon so sadly, you'll have to wait" she says, ending the call and plugging her phone into a charger.

"Farkle already on your case about me?" I ask.

She grins as she notices that I'm awake.

"Apparently he's just dying to know all the details of my love life" she says.

"Are you actually going to go through with telling everyone today? You really don't have to unless you're ready for it peaches I don't want to pressure you"

"No I'm sure I want to. Farkle deserves it for helping me but you'll still have my back right? I can't admit something this big alone"

"Of course, I always will" I say and lean over to kiss her cheek.

A knock on the door startles both of us, Shawn leans in the doorframe an apologetic look on his face after seeing us both flinch.

"Oh hey Riley I didn't realize you stayed over, I was just going to tell Maya that breakfast was ready but you're obviously welcome to join" he says happily.

"Thanks Shawn but I might pass this time around, I've got to get home before my parents become concerned over my sudden disappearance last night"

"Wait they don't know you're here?" Maya interrupts.

"I forgot my phone at home. I never called them to say I was staying over. I wasn't thinking about it in the moment, my thoughts were kinda consumed by something else" I explain.

I see a shy smile flash across Maya's face in my peripheral vision.

"You'd better call them kid, I wouldn't want to incur the wrath of Topanga if I were you" he says.

"Yeah but they at least know I came over here and that I'd be in good care so I think I'll take my chances and just catch a bus before it gets too late and they truly start to worry" I shrug.

"Oh don't worry I'll drive you, I have to go grab something from the store near there anyway" he offers graciously.

"Are you sure?" 

He nods and gestures for me to come with him.

I thank him and take the offer because the faster I get home the less time there is for them to call me out on being gone for. I run my hand through my hair a few times to untangle it but I don't really care if Shawn sees me with my hair slightly messy from sleep. It's nothing he hasn't seen before, considering how often he's at my house. I decide to change when I get back to my own home if it's only him who's going to see me on the way there.

"I'll see you this afternoon then I guess" Maya says as I get up.

"See you then" I give her a quick hug before walking out into the hallway.

As I head towards the kitchen where Katy is setting the table I can hear Shawn's conversation with Maya behind me.

"Go get breakfast before it gets cold while I take Riley alright. Wait why do you look all happy you're never this happy in the morning. Did you do something? What happened?" he says.

"Nothing you can prove" she replies before racing past me to the kitchen.

Shawn walks out of the room after her, grabbing his car keys from a hook. He tells Katy that he's taking me home and narrows his eyes at Maya who's drinking a glass of orange juice and ignoring him. She winks at me when he turns around and I smile to myself, following Shawn out to his car.

~~~

Maya's POV

When I knock on the front door of Zay's house the last person I'm expecting to open it is Smackle. Especially because she's usually the one who gets here last due to how far away she lives.

"Oh good you're alive, Farkle wasn't trying to trick me" she says.

"Can't a girl take a break from being in contact to people without everyone automatically assuming death?" 

"Not really, Lucas suggested we all gather together and mourn you over some pancakes" she laughs and gives me a hug.

I roll my eyes and return it happily, following her into the living room.

Farkle, Lucas, and Zay all have their gazes firmly set on the tv, playing a video game. Farkle has a blanket hanging off his shoulders loosely, and for good reason.

"Turn the air conditioning down holy shit do you want to freeze Zay" I say, rubbing my arms and starting to take off my shoes.

This gets their attention and Zay jumps up from the floor rushing over to hug me.

"Where have you been? I've been so lonely without someone to send gifs back and forth in the chat with to bother Lucas" he grins.

"All of you need to calm down I didn't fall off the face of the earth or anything. Also is Riley here yet?" I ask.

"Don't worry your girlfriend is in the kitchen" Farkle teases.

Riley enters the room with a can of soda that she tosses to Lucas before looking at me. I'm already looking at her. She gives me a 'are we going to tell him' look. 

"What was that look?" Lucas asks aloud.

"Nothing" we both say.

"Luke they always look at each other like that you should know this" Farkle says.

"You're right, but this one seems different" Smackle adds.

I glance at Riley next to me and she gives me a slow nod, urging me to just let it out.

"Alright fine, Riley and I kissed. Is that the answer you were looking for?" I say.

"And I asked her to be my girlfriend" Riley continues before anyone can react yet.

I intertwine my hand with Riley's and meet Farkle's eyes. He smiles approvingly. 

However, the first one to speak is Zay who so eloquently yells "Finally! My ship has sailed this is a glorious day!"

He does a victory lap around the couch as Riley laughs at him. Lucas, Farkle, and Smackle all congratulate us both, talking over one another and hugging us individually. 

"Listen I know we've never been that close and well, now I guess I see why. But Maya I do want you to know that I'm happy for you two and I'm sorry for ever getting in the way without knowing. I knew there was something special between you two I just didn't know if either of you would really act on it" Lucas says and gives me a genuine smile.

"Thank you Lucas, it means a lot. I know you liked her and there’s nothing wrong with that, I'm sorry for ever being mean to you out of jealously. You're a good guy, I honestly don't know why you don't have a girlfriend right now with that stupid pretty boy face of yours" I tell him.

He grins and pats me on the shoulder as Farkle starts to tell me how proud of me he is and how happy he is for both of us. However, his sentimental little speech is interrupted by Zay who has stopped running.

"Okay, two questions. One: so for sure you're not straight? I mean that in the nicest way possible by the way" he says.

"I'm in love with a girl but yeah sure Zay I'm completely straight" I say sarcastically and roll my eyes at him.

"Well that answers you. Riley?"

"Bisexual. I'm bisexual" she says.

I kiss her cheek softly, knowing how big of a deal it is for her to say it. Everyone has seemed to already know for me so my own coming out isn't that nerve wracking. She squeezes my hand gently as all of our friends look on supportively.

"Well I'm really proud of both of you for having the courage to tell us that, you didn't have to answer it. You know we all love you just the same and all that" he smiles sincerely.

"Thank you" Riley says, matching his smile.

"Alright wait second question: who kissed who?"

"I kissed her" I say happily.

"Oh hell yes it's payday boys and girls! Lucas and Smackle give us the money I told you Maya would kiss her first"

"Why has everyone made a bet on me?" I groan.

"Wait you made a bet?" Riley asks, clearly amused.

"Yes we bet them that Maya would be the one to initiate the first kiss the summer after freshman year and now they both owe us five bucks" Farkle replies.

Lucas and Smackle both hand over their money. Lucas complaining about how it wasn't fair since he wasn't over Riley at all when they made the bet and Zay flaunting the bill in his face anyway.

"Can you believe they noticed something was up enough to bet on this?" Riley laughs.

"Actually, yes" I say, thinking back to Felix and Carla with a shake of my head. However, I just smile at her amusement and kiss her simply because I can.

"Hey no PDA some of us are single" Zay complains as the boys go back to their game.

"Can't relate" Farkle smiles and kisses Smackle quickly as he sits back on the floor and picks up a game controller.

"I'll have you know that a buzzfeed quiz once told me that I'm very charismatic and a great catch" Zay says.

"I can't believe they would lie to you like that" Lucas smirks and tosses me a controller as I sit down on the couch next to a glaring Zay.

After a while of playing Zay decides to go to the kitchen in search of food, handing his controller to Smackle for the time being. 

I'm distracted by the game objective and don't notice Riley's absence until she jumps down on me from the top of the couch. I fall off the couch and she bursts out laughing, satisfied with scaring me for no reason. 

Lucas and Smackle spare a glance at me but then focus their attention on the game once more. Riley is still laughing to herself. I scramble back onto the couch until I'm sitting on top of her and pin her hands above her head. That shuts her up.

"Haven't you learned not to test me Matthews?" I grin mischievously, knowing she'll be the only one who understands what I’m referring to.

She doesn't even have the time to react before Zay reappears with a pack of cookies in hand saying, "well I guess we know who tops."

Riley's face turns bright red and she pushes me off lightly.

Lucas is a sputtering mess in the beanbag chair in the corner from choking on his soda. 

"Zay! You can't just say that!" Riley says defensively.

He just shrugs and gives her a crooked smile, taking a bite of a cookie. 

I get up off the ground for the second time as he takes the controller back from Smackle. Riley gives me a quick peck on the lips as an apology. I wink at her which only makes her cheeks redder and now it's my turn to start laughing.

"Zay! look what you've done! Lucas is going to get killed because he isn't paying attention and I obviously already lost Maya. Does no one here care about surviving?" Farkle exclaims.

He sighs in exasperation realizing half of us aren't even paying attention. I take this as an opportunity to climb back onto the couch and lay in Riley's lap. 

"Give him some credit Lucas can make a comeback" she says, probably trying to avoid admitting that Zay wasn't wrong.

"Yeah Huckleberry has great reflexes from his sheep riding days" I join in jokingly.

Lucas squints at me in annoyance, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"He shocked himself when he plugged the lamp in before you got here" Zay says wryly.

This earns him an empty soda can to the head.

"Why would you tell them that!" Lucas says.

"Because it was hilarious" he responds and throws the can back into Lucas' lap.

"No soda on the carpet. You know how much Zay's mom hates when you get the carpet dirty" Farkle threatens.

"She wouldn't mind if it was for good reason" Lucas says.

"She probably still would" Smackle replies.

"Whatever can you please just catch up Lucas because Zay is going to get him and I both killed by wasting his ammo on the ground out of boredom" Farkle sighs.

"Chill out there's no one around" Zay protests.

"This game is stupid why can't you play something like gta 5" Riley says, half distracted by playing with the ends of my hair.

"I agree can we play that instead?" Zay asks.

"Yeah please can we? that game allows you to do literally whatever you want it's chaotic and amazing" I say.

"Of course you'd agree with Riley" Farkle says.

"Oh don't sit there and tell me you don't like watching her crash multiple cars every time she plays" I reply.

"I don't" he says, taking one of Zay's cookies from the pack.

"You're lying, everyone does. She thought she could escape the police by hiding in the lake at a golf course" Lucas says.

"Okay yes we get it I'm not good at following the objectives but at least I still have a good time" Riley says and crosses her arms.

"Watch it Friar that's my girlfriend you're ridiculing" I say, propping myself up to see him properly.

He rolls his eyes but Riley smiles and leans down to kiss me for a few seconds and that's all I care about.

"I still don't want to play anything else until we finish this game" Farkle complains.

The pointless debate is cut short as Zay's mom gets home and starts to scold her son for having cookies open on the floor. We all greet her, Smackle laughing at Zay's look of shame as he puts the cookies back in the kitchen.

"Zay did you ever go out and get the groceries I told you to this morning" she asks as she sets her purse down on the kitchen counter.

"I knew there was something I was forgetting" he sighs.

"Well go in your room and find the shopping list and the money I gave you this morning. If any of you want to stay for dinner you can as always if as long as he actually buys what I told him to" she says.

"Who wants to accompany me on the trip to the store?" Zay asks.

None of us volunteer.

"Oh come on you'll get some of my mom's cooking after it and I won't force you to listen to my music"

"Some of you should take him up on that offer, it's not often that he'll let someone else control the music" his mother smiles as she leaves to go upstairs and he rolls his eyes.

"Grocery shopping is like an underrated form of intimacy you guys should join me it's fun" Zay remarks.

"I've had enough intimacy for one day" Farkle teases, looking over at Riley and I.

"You have a girlfriend too" I point out. 

"Yeah but I'm not on top of her at all times like you two" he replies.

"All of you need to be quiet let's just go with Zay it could be entertaining. I for one enjoy Mrs. Babineaux's cooking so I'm fine with going shopping" Lucas cuts us off, getting up and tossing Zay's keys to him from their place next to the tv.

"No way in hell am I letting Zay drive me anywhere, just because he recently got his license doesn't mean he actually knows what he's doing" I say.

"I'm the one who has the license and since my dad is on a business trip I can take his car. Plus walking takes longer so are you guys in or not?" he asks, ignoring me.

I warily agree to go along since everyone else begins to jump on board and I'm not about to stay here alone. Zay rushes to get the list and money, announcing his success to his mother loudly before all of us follow him out the door.

The car ride consists of a large amount of Smackle and I being constantly on edge about Zay's driving ability and Farkle snapping at Zay to focus on the road instead of the number of dogs he can count passing by on the sidewalk. Riley and Lucas picked the music and are singing ridiculously.

It's not much better when we arrive at the actual store since Zay wants to split up to find the items faster and things only become more chaotic.

I find myself in the middle of the produce section next to Lucas, who Zay had given the list to.

Zay is off to my left in the kitchenware aisle ruining the displays of pots and pans trying to recreate the kitchen sequence from High School Musical 2. Keyword: trying.

Farkle is sneakily snapchatting people's reactions to Riley who is standing by the front entrance offering samples of some cheese and crackers that she opened to strangers.

Smackle is acting like she's actually fooling people posing as a mannequin in the summer beach chair display.

"Fools, I'm surrounded by fools" I say.

Lucas laughs next to me with a nod of agreement.

"You watch them I'm going to be productive and find the things we're supposed to be buying" he says with an amused shake of his head.

I let him go and look around one last time before smirking and heading to Zay's aisle to tell him that if he's going to be that disruptive he might as well get the beat right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> damn this chapter is so long but I figured I'd write a little more because I'm going to be starting school again in a few days and wow junior year is gonna be a struggle to find time to write in yikes. I actually had been planning a chapter of purely all of them hanging out together and being ridiculous for a while because it was necessary. Also although I didn't update as often as I would've liked I'm glad I was sharing this story with you all this summer since this truly has been one of the best summers ever for me. I never know how to end these lmao I hope this was as fun to read as it was to write.


	17. unexpected reunions

Riley's POV

We've only been in the store for twenty minutes and yet as I look up from the magazine I was skimming I've lost sight of both Farkle and Smackle.

I put it down and start walking knowing that I should really go help with the shopping. Just as I'm wondering where Lucas is, the only person working towards the objective, I hear his text tone from my pocket. 

MrPerfect: where are you?

RileyMatthews: walking out of the candy aisle

MrPerfect: how predictable. I'm with Farkle and Smackle we're nearby

RileyMatthews: did you get everything on the shopping list?

MrPerfect: yes because no one else would. Well Farkle helped a little. Have you seen Maya and/or Zay?

RileyMatthews: I see them. Aisle seven, just follow the sounds of pointless arguing

Lucas, Farkle, and Smackle meet me there. Lucas sighs before nodding towards the shopping basket for me to put my opened box of cheese and crackers into it. I comply sheepishly and push past him to pull Zay away from Maya. 

The spatula Zay is gesturing with for whatever reason has caught the attention of a middle aged woman passing by who's probably wondering why there are two teenagers arguing with kitchen utensils. To be fair, so are the rest of us. Smackle smiles at her respectfully but Maya grabbing a second wooden spoon isn't helping our case. 

"I don't have a clue what you guys are doing but Zay we need you in order to check out" Farkle says, grabbing the spatula from him.

"Oh so no one needs me? I see how it is" Maya rolls her eyes and turns to face the other direction.

"You know I need you" I say.

"Babe I was joking" she grins.

I take the wooden spoons from her and put them back in their display next to us. 

"I know but I want you to know your own worth peaches, to know that I need you and you mean a lot to me" I reply sincerely.

Her playful smile slowly changes to an appreciative and shy one and she kisses my cheek tenderly.

I don't know why I decide to take a risk and kiss her for a split second but I do know that it's going to do more harm than good when I pull away and see Farkle's expression.

He's glaring, not at us but rather someone, or something behind us.

"Well isn't this interesting"

Definitely someone. And a voice that I was hoping I'd never have to listen to again.

"What do you want Missy?" Zay sighs.

"I only came over to say hello but it seems as though I've stumbled upon some unexpected intel" she says slyly.

I see Lucas cross his arms and move closer to us protectively. 

"You have no right to talk to us, you don't know any of us anymore and I'd rather not catch up" Maya says, her hands clenched into fists.

"You don't even go to the same school as us what's your issue?" Smackle says tiredly. Even Smackle knows drama and Missy are a package deal.

"Last time I checked I can do whatever I want. This is, in fact, a public grocery store if you haven't noticed. Where I go to school doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things now does it?" she stares Maya down who shoots her a spiteful glare right back. 

I would be convinced that Maya is simply just incredibly angry if I didn't know that deep down she's just as scared as I am of letting the world know about us before we've decided for ourselves. Missy can and would take that away in the blink of an eye and from the looks on all of our faces, everyone else realizes this too.

She breaks eye contact with Maya as none other than Charlie Gardner walks up to her.

"You have got to be kidding me" Maya says flatly.

He looks at all of us cautiously and with good reason since none of us have had any actual contact with him since the start of freshman year. I didn't exactly want to seek him out at his brother's party and can't be bothered to keep up with his social life.

"Wait what exactly is going on here?" Smackle asks.

"Oh I'm sure you're all familiar with my boyfriend Charlie already" she says, turning to me to finish the sentence. He wraps his arm around her waist protectively. I roll my eyes at her.

"Man you really need to re-evaluate your choices in girls" Zay says.

Charlie's demeanor shifts to a defensive one while Missy unfortunately ignores Zay to focus on me. 

"Why so quiet Matthews? Worried about your not so little secret getting out?” she says, voice laced with malice.

Now there's an immense amount of adrenaline pulsing through my body out of fear of what she's capable of and I want to act on it, spit an insult back at her. I hold back from doing either one of those things because I don't know her strength but the same can't be said for Maya. Maya lunges at her and Lucas immediately tries to hold her back from swinging at a smirking Missy.

I turn Maya's shoulders to face me when Lucas puts her down and her face softens as she meets my eyes.

Charlie must notice this because he looks back and forth between the two of us, processing Missy's comment and putting the pieces together.

"Wait so you two?"

Lucas steps in front of us and up to Charlie, intimidatingly taller than him and using it to his advantage.

"Listen Charlie this is what's going to happen. You're going to forget this interaction happened. You're going to be the decent human being I know you are and make sure your homophobic excuse for a girlfriend doesn't do anything with what she knows. Because if she does I will not hold myself back from getting back at either of you and I won't hold Maya back either" he says, not a single trace of insincerity in his words.

"Hey I'm entitled to my own opinion, it's not my fault they decided to be a couple of freaks. They'll get what's coming to them eventually" Missy says.

"Shut your mouth Bradford" Maya immediately retorts. 

"It's not a choice you close-minded idiot" Farkle says angrily.

Charlie surveys each of us individually. Lucas standing in front of him, Zay standing in front of Missy with crossed arms and a firey look in his eyes. Smackle and Farkle glaring at both him and Missy. Maya clenching and unclenching her fists slowly. As his gaze lands on me, I give him a pleading look. I was the one who took the risk of kissing Maya and she doesn't deserve to fall with me for it. I know he at least used to be a good guy at heart and I hope that he realizes how terrible it'll be for us if she outs us to our whole school. We all know she'd find a way to do it and Charlie seems as if he knows it too.

"Missy lets just leave them alone okay. They're allowed to love whoever they want, everyone is. This is just bringing up trouble from the past, It's not worth it" he says calmly.

Lucas backs away from Charlie, surprised by the response.

I feel the muscles in Maya's shoulder relax and I exhale a breath I didn't know I was holding in.

"Fine I'm sick of all of this liberal bullshit anyway" she scoffs and flips her hair as she starts to walk the opposite way.

"I hope karma slaps you in the face before I can" Maya yells after her.

I mouth a 'thank you' to Charlie and he nods silently at me. He also nods more seriously at Lucas to assure he'll keep our secret who returns the gesture in appreciative affirmation.

"Charlie!" 

"Coming!" he bolts the other way to follow her and a large part of me wonders why he'd ever even want to be with her in the first place.

"Anyone else feel bad for him?" Zay asks as soon as they disappear out of sight.

All of us raise our hands in unison.

"Well I for one have had enough intolerance for today" Farkle sighs.

"Smackle remind me to never let Zay convince me to come to this store again because no one is walking away perfectly unharmed like this if Missy and I see each other again" Maya says.

"Noted. I really hope she comes around one day, viewing the world like that isn't going to do her any good" she replies.

"So no one has a revenge idea? Personally I was thinking key her car if you can find which one outside is hers but that isn't legal so don't do that" Zay says, half joking.

"Why don't we just set it on fire?" Maya asks.

"Committing arson is not the plan for tonight" I say.

"What about tomorrow night?"

"Yeah there are marshmallows we can roast in the aisle next to us" Zay says.

"You two are insane" Lucas says.

"Well I'm not paying the bail for any of you who get in a legal altercation so I say we head out before anything else can happen" Farkle says.

Maya sticks her tongue out at him.

"True we should go, the sooner we get all of this to my mom the sooner we can eat" Zay says, taking the shopping basket from the ground where Lucas had placed it out of the way. 

Lucas and Smackle follow Zay but Farkle lags behind a little to keep pace with Maya and I.

"Are you two alright after that whole thing? Like genuinely? because it was intense" he asks.

"I'm okay" I reply.

"Oh please she's just an ignorant idiot I'm fine" Maya nods.

"Alright good, I don't want her getting into either of your heads. You're allowed to love whoever you want it's perfectly valid, some people are just uneducated" he sighs.

He hugs each of us, lingering on mine probably because he probably thinks I'll be the one more affected by the experience. He might have a point but I ignore it. 

Maya teases him for being so protective until he rolls his eyes and elbows her gently as we get to checkout.

The point that Farkle had doesn't end up resurfacing in my mind again until later that night.

It took about five minutes of experiencing Zay's driving from the passenger seat to make Lucas snap and force Zay to let him  drive instead. Zay dismissed all the comments from the rest of us about how Lucas is a better driver despite how much smoother the ride back was. 

After Mrs. Babineaux generously made dinner for all of us we basically went back to laying around. Lucas and Zay found out during dinner that Smackle hadn't seen many vines that they knew by heart and insisted on going down to the basement to show her a compilation. Zay's mom went to watch tv in the living room, barely understanding the appeal of such a thing. Farkle settles himself next to me in a beanbag chair and checks his social medias.

When everyone is distracted Maya, who's been sitting next to the back door, slides it open and sneaks out.

I follow her since I have nothing better to do and close the door. I wander around the backyard until I spot her sitting in the middle of the trampoline. I had honestly forgotten Zay had one since it's off on the side of the yard he rarely uses it anymore. 

"What are you doing?"

She props herself up on one elbow and looks at me before laying right back down. 

"Watching the sky" 

I climb onto the trampoline and lie next to her. We both stare up into the twilight as the light begins to fade. She gets distracted by a firefly blinking and sits up, trying to get it to land on her hand. I observe as she catches it tenderly and lets it fly back into the air to join the others. 

I sit up as well, leaning my head on her shoulder and smiling at the gentleness that always shows itself when it's only the two of us. I stare at her lips absentmindedly and the doubts I always try to ignore are suddenly magnified at the thought of Missy's words.

"Maya can I ask you something"

"Of course"

"How do you know this, us, isn't wrong?"

She looks at me and her face falls a little as she says "she got to your head didn't she."

I nod sadly as she holds me closer. I didn't mean for it to, but the encounter at the store only brought the insecurities regarding our relationship and my sexuality back to the surface from where they're hidden away.

"I tend to care less about what society expects of me and I think that's why I don't let people like her get to me but I know that's just not who you are. I still have those fears myself if that makes you feel any better. You just have to realize that they don't know any more than we do about what ultimately is and isn't right Riles. People who think the way Missy does can't tell us how to live our lives, who to love. If I want to fall in love with you they can't stop me" she says.

I realize she's right. No one knows what absolute right or wrong is at the end of the day. Regardless of religion or personal beliefs everyone is just basing their morals off of what they've been taught by other people. Seeing it the way she does actually helps on a deeper level than I anticipated.

"I wish everyone understood it like that. I want to be with you more than anyone and it's only an stupid issue because you aren't a boy" I sigh.

"Society might be a wreck but hey the universe had you choose me when you could've literally chosen any one of the other billions of people on the earth so it can't be all that bad" she says.

"You're literally the cheesiest human being alive" I reply.

"You love it"

"Do not"

"Yeah you do"

"Yeah I do"

The corners of her lips curve into a grin as she presses them to mine tenderly.

The kiss soon becomes more heated as she pulls me closer to her to the point where I'm sitting in her lap.

I tangle my hands in her hair a little tighter as her fingertips wander under my shirt to ghost over the skin of my waistline.

"For fucks sake I told you they were out here" 

Maya pulls back to look over her shoulder and rolls her eyes as she sees Zay and Farkle squinting into the increasing darkness from the back porch.

"No making out on my trampoline!" Zay yells.

Maya proceeds to flip him off before kissing me again and suddenly I'm not so scared of the looks or whispers we could get from being together because I know one thing for sure. She's worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look who's still alive and actually updated! this school year is busier than I could have imagined so that's why I took forever but I'm actually determined to go back to a regular schedule because I have the ending to this story planned out. It's coming up in like two chapters since I've literally written all the ideas I've ever had even though it's wild to think of this being completed


	18. coffeeshops and pride flags

Maya's POV

"Maya where's my concealer?"

"I don't know ask Auggie" I say, glancing up from my book to see her rummaging around in her makeup bag.

She stops suddenly, confused.

"Why would he have it?" she asks.

"He told me something about Ava wanting makeup for her birthday present" I reply, remembering how he was rambling about it the other day.

"Oh god. Auggie can you come here please" she yells into the hallway.

"Why do you need it, you barely use it anyway" I say.

"I wouldn't have to use it if someone had been more careful" she says pulling the collar of her shirt down to reveal the fading hickey on the side of her neck.

I lift the book up to cover my smirk as I hear footsteps approaching.

"Yeah?" Auggie says as he runs into the room, curls bouncing wildly until he stops short due to Riley's unlucky timing.

She quickly covers it again with her hair but it's too late to avoid him seeing it.

"Woah what happened to you?" he says as his eyes widen.

"I'm fine Auggie it's just a mosquito bite, did you take my concealer?" she asks him calmly.

"Oh that makeup thing? I did but Ava didn't want it so I left it in the bathroom cabinet" he shrugs.

"Thank you but next time if Ava wants any makeup have that discussion with mom instead of taking mine alright"

"Okay" he says as she ruffles his hair gently before he races away to the living room.

She sighs in relief as she heads to the bathroom to retrieve it.

I put the book down and lean in the doorway to her room as she returns.

"What?"

"A mosquito bite?" I ask, smirking.

"He's only eight, I can't just tell him" she says, her cheeks flushing a shade of light pink.

"Fair point but no one except him would buy that excuse" I tell her.

"Exactly, and that's why you can't do something that risky. So that means my parents can't see it because you know how bad I am at lying. But..." she trails off.

"But what?" I ask.

"But it is kinda hot" she whispers shyly.

"That's a little gay" I reply teasingly.

"Maya we're dating!" 

"Oh trust me I know " I smile brightly and kiss her hand softly.

"Man you two make every rom-com ever look like pure garbage" 

I turn to see Zay rolling his eyes, nearly giving Riley a heart attack at his sudden appearance.

"How did you get in? And stop eating my snacks!" she groans before snatching away the bag of pretzels in his hand.

"Auggie let me in and you should find a better hiding place for your food. Besides, I think the more important question is when did you get that" he says, gesturing towards her neck as she goes to return the pretzels to the kitchen.

She sighs and fixes her hair again as she puts the bag away in one of the cabinets. 

"A mosquito bit her" Auggie says, happy to know the answer before Zay despite its inaccuracy.

"Oh well I hope the mosquito learned its lesson" Zay snickers.

Riley slaps his arm, silently warning him to shut up. 

Zay raises an eyebrow at me and I can't help but laugh at the situation, which entirely confuses Auggie. 

Zay and I sneak back to Riley's room and leave her with the task of lying about what Zay meant.

"You guys are the worst. Is there a reason you came here out of the blue Zay?" she complains as she pushes him over to sit in the bay window with us.

"Actually yes, Lucas wanted you to know that he'll buy you a bi flag for pride and hide it at his place like you asked. His parents never even come into his room so he's down with the idea"

"And you couldn't have just texted me or have him text me himself?" 

"I could have, but I wanted an excuse to come over and take your food" he shrugs.

"If I wear a hat backwards and paint a little pride flag on my cheek will that be enough" I ask.

"I think that'll get the message across" she grins and places her hand over mine gently as Zay nods in agreement.

"Will people mind if I show up?" he asks.

"Probably not, but I would prepare for a lot of guys to try to get your number if I were you" I tell him, since well he is decently attractive.

"That's true, they're very direct" Riley says.

"Well if that's all then I definitely don't mind coming" he replies.

I raise an eyebrow at him but he ignores me to ask who else is coming.

"Lucas is coming under the claim of being moral support but I don't know if Smackle and Farkle can make it" I say.

"Smackle is going to be there late, she told me yesterday" Riley says, getting up to go check her phone.

"What about Farkle" I ask.

"I just texted him. He forgot that it was this weekend and not the next one but thinks he can find a way to come" Zay replies.

"Well he only has like a day to figure it out" Riley replies.

"I'll worry about him later, I'm gonna go get a drink from that coffee shop down the street who's with me" Zay waves it off, putting his phone back in his pocket.

"I'm supposed to be watching Auggie" 

"It'll only take like ten minutes he'll survive" Zay says, already opening the door.

"Well I'm going because I really want an iced coffee. We'll come right back, it'll be fine Riles. Are you in or out?" I ask.

She surprises Zay and I by sighing and saying she's in as long as we make it fast.

She spares a minute to go tell Auggie to not move until she gets back and he agrees to keep the secret if she makes him mac and cheese later. She promises she will and we head out, Zay rambling on about a video Farkle had sent him for the entire walk.

I tune back into the conversation when we get inside. The topic apparently changed to what color a jacket Zay found online is.

"That's clearly blue how do you see purple"

"That's purple you're so blind" Riley says.

"It's not though, you're just losing your mind" he replies.

He shoves the phone in my face asking what I think to which I reply "it's purple" and he continues to deny it.

I roll my eyes at them hoping I won't be dragged further into the debate. When we get to the front of the line she gives up on the petty argument, leaning into me more as I order for all of us. I hand the cashier the money and wrap my free hand around her waist. The cashier was definitely stealing extra glances at her while putting in the orders and I didn't want him getting any ideas.

"Someone's protective today" Zay remarks.

"Be quiet Babineaux"

"Yeah Zay, I think it's cute" Riley smiles, kissing my cheek.

I stick my tongue out at him, taking my drink from the counter.

I take a closer look at the side seeing something scribbled in sharpie there: 'I was right you two do make a cute couple'

I look behind the counter and see Amber pause in making a drink to wave in our direction. I wave back, happy to see her and completely unaware she worked here until now. I show Riley the note and she blushes and mouths 'thank you' to her. Amber mouths something else back over the noise and Riley is the one who catches it.

"She asked if we're going to pride"

We both nod and she grins, giving a thumbs up before getting back to work.

We walk back to Riley's apartment and explain what happened to Zay who is completely clueless. Eventually Riley unlocks the door and breathes a sigh of relief that Auggie survived ten minutes alone. We all end up watching a movie together until Topanga gets home with Mr. Matthews following soon after. Zay stays until nine, thanking them for dinner and saying he'll text us about meeting up tomorrow. I stay over at Riley's and we both leave for the nearest subway station under the lie of hanging out at Lucas's house for the day.

"Here, see how it turned out!" Riley says, giving me her phone to check out the rainbow flag she painted on my cheek.

"Not bad for a girl who's art abilities continue to only include purple cats" I laugh, kissing her nose when she pouts about my joke.

"Well it's hard to do a good job with the train being so shaky"

"Oh Riley I have the flag I almost forgot" Lucas interrupts, walking over to hand her it.

He almost falls over when the train car jolts slightly but continues to stand and helps her unfold it.

"Thank you Lucas but you're going to fall if you keep standing I've got it don't worry" she tells him.

"Okay okay sue me for wanting to make it easier but I do have a sense of balance you know"

"Keep telling yourself that cowboy" I reply, helping Riley wrap the colored fabric around herself as he just sighs and returns to his seat.

Him and Zay are nearby in the same car as us along with a large amount of other people obviously heading towards pride as well. One of the guys sitting across from us threw an extra feather boa at Zay earlier saying he didn't have enough color. Zay gladly accepted it much to Lucas' amusement. 

"I need hype music and I've got a speaker so who has suggestions" a girl with short brown hair stands up and yells.

"It wouldn't be pride without Born This Way so you better put that on the playlist" an extremely tall boy from the back replies.

The music starts after a few hollers of "what a classic", "hell yeah", and the brunette's girlfriend making her promise to play something by Hayley Kiyoko later.

I smile as I yell out the words with everyone else for the rest of the ride, feeling an overwhelming feeling of acceptance and adrenaline from such a new experience. The euphoria doesn't fade throughout the next two hours while we all walk around together. No one talks enough about how incredible it is to see so many lgbt+ couples and different sexualities coexisting in one place. 

Farkle and Smackle arrive a few hours late. Farkle apparently took longer since he got lost and ended up having to ask a boy wearing a trans flag bandana who he saw walking ahead if he could tag along. Zay laughs at him but Farkle doesn't seem to care.

"He was so nice his name is Miles and I even got his Instagram" he says, wrapping an arm around Smackle shoulders as we walk to get water with Lucas.

I get distracted when I see Amber standing on a street corner, fastening a rainbow flag into a cape for a redhead next to her who I assume must be her girlfriend.

"Guys I found Amber, she's over there" I point in her direction.

"Wait no way, we have to go say hi" Zay says, dragging Lucas and the others over with me.

After a bunch of first introductions and explanations we all end up walking around together. Amber and her girlfriend share stories with all of us about their first pride and basically continuously commend Riley and I for being here, even if we had to sneak out. 

Everyone agrees to get food and we sit on the curb to rest.

"Oh Zay I forgot to say it earlier but I love the boa"

"See Julia likes it, get some taste Lucas" he says grinning at Amber's girlfriend as a thank you.

Lucas just sips his water, keeps trying to shake the glitter that people were throwing around earlier out of his hair, and refuses to give Zay the satisfaction of a comeback.

Amber and Julia stand up to talk to two boys with eye makeup better than I could ever hope to do and say they'll catch up with us later. We stay there a little longer before walking around a little more, some of us collecting free small merchandise handed out along the way.

"Heads up protesters are shouting over there" Smackle sighs, rolling her eyes and handing Farkle some skittles she bought.

"Where?" Lucas asks, I can hear the anger rise in his voice.

Farkle puts a hand on his shoulder trying to get him to calm down but narrows his eyes at the signs and protesters as well.

"Riley do you want to do something crazy?" I ask with a plan in mind, ignoring the insults being yelled behind me.

"What level of crazy" she asks cautiously, looking from me to the protesters.

Zay and Lucas are trying to talk to them and subsequently riling them up more. We all know they're just trying to talk reasonably with them but some people just have no concept of what is and isn't truly worth protesting against.

"Kiss me, here, right now" I say.  
I'm in the mood for some hell raising and too confident in myself right now to let their words even begin to affect me so why not.

She seems unsure but glances at the group behind us before looking back at me with a sparkle in her eye and saying "let's do it"

"Hey! Assholes! Guess what" I yell, changing their focus from Lucas and Zay to me.

"What is it blondie?" a man at the front sneers.

"Love is love and you can't stop it" I yell before putting both my hands in the air and flipping them off as I lean in to kiss Riley. 

Their voices get louder and angrier but Riley just smiles against my lips as we hear a bunch of shouts of support from our friends and others behind us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy day after thanksgiving, I finished writing this chapter instead of Black Friday shopping because I'm lazy. This is a mess of concepts but so is the entire fic whoops. I honestly wanted to write about pride because I really don't see it written about in detail in many fanfics so why not. Fun fact Farkle following the trans boy when he was lost was me projecting because I actually did that this past summer for my first pride lmao. Get ready for the final chapter next update y'all


	19. the golden age

Riley's POV

It's been almost two months since pride. Two months since Lucas, by some wild chance, found a straight girl there and soon managed to make her his girlfriend. Two months since Maya and I started dating. And two months of being reluctant to tell my parents anything, despite having no real reason to be.

I'm struggling to tear my gaze away from the way the sunlight is illuminating her face and turning her hair golden. She's tapping her fingers absentmindedly on the steering wheel to the tune of some song from a 90's playlist. There's a polaroid worn around the edges type of beauty to our story, it's been unfolding for years but only recently have we been able to clearly see how much deeper our feelings run. I know who I am, I know who I love, and I don't think I can bear to keep stealing secretive glances at her in front of my parents yet kissing her with so much sincerity behind closed doors.

"You're staring" she says.

"You're in no position to call me out, you almost ran that last red light because you were looking at me instead of the road" I grin.

"You were distracting me" she mumbles

"I still don't understand why your dad let you borrow his car alone for this when you still need ten hours of supervised driving until you can get your license" I reply. 

"I'm not alone he knew you'd be here too. Plus I know how to drive safely and it's for a good cause" she says.

"Baking cupcakes especially in this kind of heat isn't really a good cause"

"You'll be thanking me for choosing something sweet after eating Zay and Lucas's sorry excuse for a casserole" she says, pulling into a parking spot.

I keep quiet for a second because I know she's right. Mr. Minkus invited all our families over for an end of summer barbecue tonight since school starts in a week. He insisted on humoring his son's idea to have us “kids” pair up and cook something to bring alongside the food they have planned. Farkle and Smackle refuse to tell us what they're making but Lucas and Zay settled on some form of a casserole despite both having very little culinary skills.

"Yeah okay let's get the ingredients and prove to them that I actually can make baked goods without burning them" I say.

"That's the spirit!" she grabs my hand and tugs us both inside the store

~~~

"Maya give me the measuring cup you're going to break it" 

"Have a little faith Riles" she says before almost knocking it off the kitchen counter.

"The more you guys bicker about making something the longer it's going to take. Why didn't you just make it at home like the rest of us?" Lucas says as he walks into the kitchen.

"We forgot what time it was" I say.

"It's still going to turn out better than your creation."

Maya snatches back the bag of flour he had picked up and sticks her tongue out at him. 

"Hey Mr. Minkus said it was good" he protests.

"He was lying!" Farkle shouts from the living room beside us.

Lucas glares at him as Maya and I laugh at the confirmation.

"The mac and cheese Farkle and I made was the favorite of the parents by far" Smackle says, joining her boyfriend on the couch.

Maya continues looking at the recipe while I check on the first batch of cupcakes in the oven.

"We'll see about that" I say.

"Where's Zay? Did he go exploring the house because I'm not searching for him again" Farkle says.

"He's on the back porch with the parents" Lucas says.

"Oh please tell me they didn't let him suggest any board games because the last time I played monopoly with him we stayed at his place until two in the morning" Maya says.

"I'm going to go check on him, it's actually cooling down outside now you guys should join us after you're done" Lucas says.

"Tell them we're almost ready" Maya replies, putting her hair up in a ponytail.

He nods and we both get back to work.

She takes the tray out of the oven to cool before wrapping her arms around me from behind.

"How's it going?"

"You're too short for this" I grin as I turn around in her embrace.

"I'm not that short you jerk" she says, poking me in the side.

"Oh but you really are" I reply, trying not to laugh at how she's narrowing her eyes at me.

She then proceeds to throw a handful of flour in my face.

"Maya!"

"You were asking for it!" she says, a laugh escaping her lips.

I wipe the flour off and spray her quickly with the side sprayer from the sink.

She gasps and grabs the bag of flour to throw some on me again.

It continues like this until she has me pushed up against the side of the counter and I've lost my grip on the sprayer. The marble is cold against my back where my shirt has ridden up slightly. I pull it back down and step closer to Maya.

"I win" she smirks and dusts some flour off my cheek.

"Well technically you didn't because you're all wet but I'll let you have this one" I say.

She smiles and pulls my face closer to kiss me. 

"Shit" Maya says as she breaks the kiss only to see her father and my own standing at the entrance to the kitchen in shock. Zay comes racing up behind them about to say something but falters.

I start to internally panic trying to come up with something to say, and it probably shows on the outside as well.

"Cory why is your daughter covered in flour?"

"Why's yours soaking wet?" 

"Dad I can explain..." I start to say but can't finish that sentence.

"What's the matter Maya? Cat got your tongue? Or was it Riley" Zay laughs.

She glares at him and throws an unfrosted cupcake in his direction but he just catches it and examines it.

"Uh surprise? I like girls. I'm dating Riley and I have been for a little while now" Maya says sheepishly as she rubs her arm.

"Riley?" my dad asks, an unreadable expression on his face.

"I'm bi and yeah we're um together, and all our friends know" I choke out, bracing myself for his response.

She holds my hand behind the counter and rubs her thumb in circles gently, trying to calm my nerves.

"Wait am I supposed to be surprised by this?" Shawn laughs.

"What?" Maya and I both say incredulously.

"We've known there was something there for ages" my dad says, breaking into a wide grin.

"So you're okay with it?" I ask.

"Of course sweetheart why wouldn't we be, you know this. I'm glad you've found yourself" he says, coming over to envelop me in a tight hug.

"No wonder you don't have a single poster of a boy in your room" Shawn laughs as he pulls away from hugging Maya.

She nods, a soft blush on her cheekbones as she sighs in relief. I smile at her as my dad shakes flour off his shirt.

"I told you that everyone saw that you were more than just close best friends" Farkle says smugly.

Him and Smackle probably heard the entire thing from the other room, which is interesting because he didn't stop us from messing up his own kitchen.

"I need to tell mom. Oh and Auggie" I smile, appreciating how lucky I am to have such accepting people in my life.

"Everyone is out back" Shawn says, motioning us to follow him.

And we do. Farkle, Smackle, and Zay tag along and Smackle wraps her arm around my shoulder happily congratulating me on finally telling them. Lucas raises his eyebrows at the flour on my clothes but gets up and pulls Maya and I into a hug after we make our announcement. My mom and Auggie join him eagerly. Katy hugs Maya reassuringly and not a single parent there objects to our relationship. 

It's a huge weight lifted off both our shoulders and I feel happier than I ever thought I could. Farkle gets two clean shirts of his and tosses them at us to change into. 

When we get upstairs Maya pulls her shirt over her head and starts to put the new one on but can't resist the opportunity to wink at me when I pause in the process of smoothing out my own to look at her.

She stands in front of me and wraps her arms around my neck.

"Hey Riley?"

"Yes"

"I really love you"

"I really love you too Peaches"

~~~

The next week flashes by in a blur. I spend as much time as I can outside and with my friends as possible to soak up the last few days of summer. The nights are spent with Maya watching the last few seasons of a tv show together with my father constantly telling us to keep my bedroom door open and Maya ignoring him. 

She climbs through my bedroom window at seven, hugging Topanga and ruffling Auggie's hair as we leave for school.

"You ready?" she asks, those beautiful blue eyes looking brighter than ever.

"Ready as I'll ever be" I say, taking a deep breath as she intertwines our hands while we walk into the main hallway.

I hear whispers around me.

"Wait are they dating?"

"When did that happen?"

"I knew it"

Thankfully I can't hear anything inherently negative so far. I Amber and Julia leaning against the lockers nearby and they both smile at us.

"Me and you. Together. Junior year?" I ask.

"Let's do this" she grins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so here it is, the last chapter. It's so crazy that I finally finished this, I've had the basics of it planned out literally since the start of 2017 and didn't even start posting until the end of that year. Thank you to anyone who has ever read and supported this story, I've grown so much this year while writing it and this ship and fandom is a special one to me because they helped me really accept myself. Anyway I'll definitely still be writing, probably long oneshots because I'm terrible at updating schedules but who knows. I'm going to try out some ideas I have for other ships in the future like maybe Choni but this is not the last of Rilaya you'll see from me. You can find me at @moondust-and-memories on tumblr and @FandomsAreMyEscape on wattpad
> 
> \- Andrea


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